👟👠 Better than good... (#28)

Hi !  Welcome back. This week I am thinking (and writing) about savouring life, new music, a need to hibernate and pole vaulting in your 90s . If you haven’t subscribed yet, you can join here or by clicking the button below. - Eve D.❣️

WEEK IN REVIEW

🧨 I started this week with stress about blocked toilets, work, end of year pressures, and family issues. Cried (gentle tears) for no obvious reason on Tuesday afternoon, because life is hard. But then got a full body massage on Thursday morning, and life seemed much better. Lots of yo-yo’ing, but overall I’d say life is good. I’m happy.

🌇 I had a stunning date Friday night, that I savoured with delight. Made the whole week seem like a big win, especially since the date spilled into the weekend. Am enjoying the gentle rhythms of my new person. Grateful. (All disclaimers duly acknowledged 😉).

⚖️ I also made some decisions using my “just choose, and make it work” model I shared in last week’s newsletter. It makes even more sense once you actually do it.

🌧️ Feel terrible for the people in Florida. Heard an interesting framework: don’t ask people if they believe in climate change. Ask people if they understand climate change.

🪖 Also feel terrible for the people (esp the children) in the Middle East. There is so much horror all around, I just (literally) sometimes cannot cope.

⭐️ I gave you the wrong link to AstrologyZone last week. Sorry. (It works best as an app on your phone).

🐻 I want to be a bear, sometimes.

LIFE AND STUFF

Savouring Life

I think I have spoken before about the importance of savouring life....enjoying it in the moment, as it happens. My Thursday evening is a good example.

My house has an unusual feature for South African homes - a standalone kitchen, instead of the more common open plan ones. It's usually less than ideal, but it's absolutely perfect for when I close the door, crank up the music and cook / clean /reorganise. I did this on Thursday night after dinner. Micole was out writing an exam, Zac was in his room trying to coax ChatGTP and other AI to help him code a Hangman game and I felt compelled to reorganise the pantry.

I put on my music - very loud (see my two new favourite songs below). You know the saying, dance like no one is watching? That's literally me. I love to dance to my music, but I (almost) never dance in public, or with anyone else. (Where does one go to dance these days, anyway?). I was having a good time, dancing in my private kitchen. Got out the wine, the time got even better. I savoured it.

Then Micole came home, late, and both kids joined me around the kitchen table. We all had a tough week in our own way, emotionally and physically draining, but we forgot about all that. I drank more wine, and we sat there for about an hour and laughed pretty much the whole time. We updated each other on our own lives, I updated them on my friends' love lives (a topic of great humour in this household!), and they updated me on their friends' (few secrets in this house!). We played our NYT games. I spoke to the kids about dating in general (Me: Micole, you must be careful. Men will often do xyz because they don't know any better, and you have to stand your ground. Micole: OMG, really? Zac: What's wrong with xyz??????. I rest my case).

And, during the middle of all this, even while I was intoxicated just enough to definitely not be able to drive but sober enough to still be able to solve all the NYT games, I said to the kids that I am aware how special this time is, and that I am going to write about it in my newsletter because I want more people to learn to appreciate the small things which are actually “very big things in disguise”.

Savour your good, simple moments. They are fleeting, but more common than you think.

WORDLE HURDLE

Speaking of NYT games, I achieved a milestone on Wednesday. 1,000 Wordle games played! And every one was played with both kids. We meet every evening in the kitchen, at 19:45 if we're all home at that time, and play Wordle, Connections, Mini Crossword and Strands. (All these games are free). This is how memories are made. I'm pretty sure that 20 or 30 years from now, kids will still remember that we used to do this.

ZAC’S SILLINESS 

I really do not spend much time on Facebook at all, but every once in a while I will go in to see a “memory” and they always make me smile. Seems like Zac provided a lot of the inspiration for my posts. Here’s an example:

Zac still says funny things. This week’s gem, which he said in all seriousness:

Zac: I was playing with Lisa, and kicked her ball into the tree. Now it’s stuck.
Me: Which tree?
Zac: The one shaped like Ukraine.

🤷‍♀️ 

BEING ALONE GOALS 

I have a big, lush garden and I’d love to have one of these units in it, to escape. I assume this has aircon (we’re about to hit 37deg here next week)! I’d also have a much more comfortable chair and desk facing out the window.

QUICK BITES

🧑‍🍳 Apparently it is 45% quicker to cook pasta by not waiting for the water to boil first. Just heat up the water with the pasta inside. Of course, we are not optimising for speed, but taste but word on the street is that this works.

🚰 On a similar note, apparently hot water freezes quicker than cold water. Go figure.

🤯 “Never odd or even” is a palindrome (read forwards or backwards)

⏰ Need to create a writing or similar habit? Set a timer for however long you're comfortable with. You don't have to write during that time, but you're not allowed to do anything else.

📺️ If you’re wondering where all your time flies, have a look at how much time you spend with your screens. If you had time to watch every episode of: Friends = 89 hours; The Office = 74 hours , Game of Thrones = 64 hours; Parks and Recreation = 63 hours. That’s a lot of hours!

😉 Life hack: When people ask you how you are doing, say “all good” instead of “no problem”. That way you spread the message of goodness, not problems.

👵 “One of the most important things about hearing old people tell the same stories over and over again is that you realize there are only a handful of really meaningful events that really define a human life.” (via @normonics)

DISTRACTIONS

I’m struggling to write my book. I have too many distractions (my fault), I bit off a lot (my fault) and I lack the discipline to wake up at 5am to write for 2 hours, as was the plan (my fault). Nevertheless, the end-of-year deadline remains, and we shall push on. I am the happiest when I write the book, and wish I could do nothing else except that.

DAREDEVILS

Like I said in last week's newsletter, I am thinking (and talking) a lot about retirement. No one I have spoken to yet has told me they want to retire to enjoy doing nothing. I'm sure this is a well documented phenomenon...third chapters, where we live life in the name of fun and meaning, rather than focused on the responsibilities to our future selves. There are really only three requirements to a good retirement: financial security, good health and friends. If you have all three, you are all set. There's almost nothing reasonable that needs to be ruled out.

Take Flo Meiller, 90 years old. She's just set a woman's record for pole vault (4.5 feet) in the 90-94 age group ! And if you think this is something she has been doing all her life....no. She learnt the sport from a VHS tape when she was 65 years old. She trains six days a week, and pole vaults at her local high school.

You gotta find inspiration in that!

FREE THERAPY

ART

Makes you look twice.

MUSIC

I've spoken before about my very specific and somewhat pleb taste in music (think pop music 80s and 90s, and Taylor Swift). I think I now need to qualify this: I appreciate good music as much as anyone else but new, non-pop music needs to find me. Usually this happens through recommendations from others (thank goodness for YouTube Music and the “share this” option). Two that have recently crossed my path, and will stay in my heart forever:

“I want you to hold me
Perpendicularly only”

“I'd rather take my whiskey neat
My coffee black and my bed at three”

MOVIES

We watched Nice Guys this week. It's fabulous! Ryan Gosling and Russel Crowe. The movie is clever, and funny, and I am surprised it wasn't more popular (91% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Compare that to the 9% of last week's movie choice, Cocktail 😂 ).

Next week we are watching The Social Network (my choice).

A quick explainer for the new subscribers: This movie night is a tradition started with my friend Nik during Covid lockdown. We were 10,000 miles apart (and still are!) so we watch the movie remotely, on our own screens. We hit "Play" at the same time. We each alternate the movie choice (he chose Nice Guys, I chose Cocktail...but I usually make good choices too). We almost never miss a week, except when travelling, and we've watched about 200 movies so far which we document in a Notion database. We talk via text during the movie and then discuss either post movie, or the next day on a phone call. It's great fun. Highly recommend.

Thanks for reading!

That’s it for this week. (Want more? You can find past editions here). I hope you have a great weekend and upcoming week. Please keep sharing /forwarding to your friends/groups 😄 . You can also email me privately by hitting reply on this email.

PS