👟👠 Presents, anyone? (#37)

Hi !  Welcome back. Hope you’ve fooled everyone that you’ve been good this year. This week I am thinking (and writing) about degrees, the heat, holidays and gift giving. If you haven’t subscribed yet, you can join here or by clicking the button below. - Eve D.❣️

WEEK IN REVIEW

👩‍🎓 By far the biggest highlight was that Micole got confirmation that she passed all her exams, earned her degree, and is now an actuary. 🥳 I feel like this was 12 months of “touch-and-go” rollercoaster as we wondered whether this was actually going to happen. It’s an insanely difficult degree, and I am very grateful for my village of friends who helped me through it. It was a lot. I am immensely proud of her, and in deep admiration. (She’s not done studying yet - next year she’s doing honours.)

🌊 Most of my friends packed their bags and left on holiday. The downside is that they’re not here, the upside is that life is very quiet and calm, as my city starts to resemble a ghost town. I am still “working”, but already losing track of what day it actually is. G has started sending me videos of the beach (he went down to coast already, I’m joining him in 2 weeks) and I’m mentally packing my bags. Well - repacking since I had planned to wear lots of summer dresses but apparently the regular wind speed at our destination is literally 70km/hr (50 miles/hr).

🎁 Kids and I are doing online Xmas shopping (“I hate to shop, but I like to buy”), and as part of the process kids and I had an interesting conversation last night: how many of the gifts we got last year do we still regularly use? That was eye-opening. (Spoiler alert: very few!). Puts things into perspective. (The right thing to do at this point is to advocate for buying more “permanent” gifts, and fewer “silly” gifts, but both my kids still enjoy the quantity over quality aspect, and have fun buying (and receiving) gimmicks. See below).

📺️ I watched my first cheesy Christmas movie of the season, and can definitely say I am not a one-xmas-movie-every-day type of person. It’s fine if they play in the background, while I do other stuff (last night I watched Falling for Christmas while also filling up online baskets), but I am not wasting 2hrs per day watching the cheesy nonsense. Except for: Fred Clause, Lily and Dash, Muppet Christmas Carol, Boy called Christmas etc. Those I can watch on repeat! (Side note: Love Actually really has not aged well, has it?)

📈 It’s the end of the year, and the platform I use to send this newsletter has sent me a “Recap” about Sneakers and Heels. I’ve written the equivalent of a book here! I am very happy with the open rate and the impressions. Next year, I am going to focus on growing number of subscribers… although I will do this somewhat reluctantly because I hate pushing my writing in public. (Which, to be honest, is ridiculous since I am writing an actual book! But that was the whole point of the newsletter - get me used to lots of strangers reading and engaging with my writing.) Anyway….thanks for reading!

HO HO HO

Speaking of Christmas presents, I feel you should know: I take the task of buying presents very seriously, and am widely acknowledged by all members of my family and most of my friends as an excellent gift buyer. I also judge others by the type of presents they buy (yes, I said it).

Let’s get one thing out of the way immediately: the quality of a present has nothing to do with how much it cost. Buying expensive but poorly-thought-out gifts is not a get-out-jail card and is in fact hugely off-putting. If you find yourself throwing money at the problem of not knowing what to buy, then just stop buying.

I think the secret to good gifting lies in empathy. The recipient wants to know that you have heard who they are, you know what’s important to them and you have a good idea what brings them joy. Taking all this into consideration when gift shopping ensures that the gift is something they will want, not something that you want and that the gift is greatly personalised to them. The gift has to tell the person “You get me”. If it does that, mission accomplished.

For me, therefore, gift buying is very intimate and personal. I shudder at the idea of getting generic gifts for people I care about, which (paradoxically!) is one reason why I am not exchanging gifts with G this year. I feel I need to get to know him better before I can get the right gift, and the possibility of getting it wrong is just not worth it. Plus, to be honest, I still don’t know what he has/does not have so the whole exercise could be a bit risky. I would much rather not exchange gifts with someone than to exchange the wrong gifts.

But also, to clarify: these gifts don’t have to be serious! My shopping basket this year is filled with “frivolous” gifts that the kids will probably not remember a year from now, and that’s okay too. As long as everyone is happy on the 24th December (when we open presents), I’ll be happy too. And lastly, when I’m really in doubt as to what to buy because I don’t know the person well or don’t know what they do/do not have I find alcohol is a good fallback. Or a book.

(Side note, speaking of books as gifts: I have never been married, but always thought that if I ever do have a wedding reception, I’d love to receive inscribed books as gifts. Can you imagine having a mini library made up of books your friends think you should read/enjoy as a couple? Love it ❣️ )

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME

Speaking of presents, here is a painting I found at a local market this weekend. I love it. I have already imagined the type of house I would want, to display it. I am going to be thinking about this painting the whole of December, and will probably end up self-gifting it (or commissioning something similar) in the new year.

OH!

I have recommended a lot of podcasts to you, and I have listened to hundreds myself, but this one has the funniest and most WTF opening I have ever heard. Probably not safe for work (at least listen with your headphones). Listen to it, it’s only 20 seconds.

Also: I wouldn’t suggest you watch the whole thing. It’s …entertaining? But so low on facts, and then she casually drops in that she has a husband AND a boyfriend AND an open marriage AND threesomes etc etc. Not judging any of that, but not exactly relatable to most women out there.

Side note: This host has just been called out in the UK for having guests on his show that push inaccurate health claims, like curing cancer with diet etc etc. So be careful who you listen to!

DEW POINT

It’s been unbearably hot this week. I am talking consistent day after day of 37+deg Celsius (100 deg Fahrenheit) weather. I have very poor temperature control, and can easily become massively irritable in very hot (and very cold) weather. A real Goldilocks.

I was discussing this extreme heat with G, and he taught me something new: temperature is not what determines our comfort. Our bodies cool down due to evaporation of our sweat. So in theory, no matter how hot the temperature, as long as you drink and sweat, your body will be able to maintain its optimal temperature. But…not if it’s humid. In humid weather, there is no evaporation, and thus your body can’t cool down as efficiently. This can be downright dangerous, and lead to heatstroke and fatalities.

Colin Raymond of NASA’s explains, “If you’re sitting in the shade with unlimited drinking water in California’s Death Valley, conditions may not be pleasant, but they’re survivable. But in humid regions, once you approach wet-bulb temperatures of 34 to 36 degrees Celsius (93-to-97 degrees Fahrenheit), it doesn’t matter what you’re doing. You can’t survive for extended periods of time.”

So, it turns out that if you want to know how a place feels, knowing just the temperature is not going to give you the full picture. Neither is knowing the humidity. What we actually want is the Dew Point: the temperature at which evaporation will start to happen. The lower it is, the more comfortable we will be. A Dew Point of about 20 deg Celsius (68 deg Fahrenheit) sounds ideal. Even if the actual temperature is higher, your sweat will evaporate and you’ll feel coolish. Not sure why weather apps don’t just give us the Dew Point, instead of confusing us with incomplete information.

FREE THERAPY

MOVIE

We watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and it was wonderful! I can see it being an addition to my list of cult Xmas movies. It’s clever, and perfectly executed. It’s also only 1hr 20min long, which is a bonus. I am tired of long movies. Definitely give it a watch if you haven’t seen it yet.

We’re taking a break from our movie nights until the New Year, but I already have a list of ones I want to watch in 2025.

Thanks for reading!

That’s it for this week. (Want more? You can find past editions here). I hope you have a great weekend and upcoming week. Please keep sharing /forwarding to your friends/groups 😄 . You can also email me privately by hitting reply on this email.

PS