Hi !  Welcome back. I hope you are savouring 2025..it’s going by fast. This week I am thinking (and writing) about falling skies, the journeys we have to walk and power of letting the go. - Eve D.❣️

Week in review…

⛈️ It rained. And then it rained some more. The result was that this was nothing more than a moody, unproductive set of days, filled with unhung washing, wet socks and dripping umbrellas. I didn’t walk, I didn’t go out for (many) coffees and I worked gently, and mostly in my pyjamas. 

🧯 It already felt as if the sky was falling, but then it literally fell. For some reason, the ceiling in my lounge just….collapsed? At first I thought it was due to all the rain, but no, the ceiling itself is dry. This was no joke. As we were standing in the lounge assessing a quickly growing “bulge” in the ceiling (left photo), one of the chandeliers just plummeted to the ground. No warning. Honestly, it was something out of a horror movie. If any of us were standing under it, we’d likely be dead. Then, within minutes the lounge looked like the right photo: 

Thank God that when we put this new ceiling in (during renovations, quite some time ago) we didn’t remove the old ceiling. Otherwise, I’d really have a nightmare on my hands. As things stand, what I do now have is: one chandelier less, one ugly, old ceiling in place of a pretty one and a big mess in the lounge. It’s probably a sign that it is time to leave this house. I don’t appreciate the timing. I was only preparing to do that at the end of the year. But…. small mercies. At the end of the day, to clean this up I just need a strong set of muscles, a broom and a sense of humour.

🏠️ I looked for a new house. I (unsurprisingly) spent a long time on property websites. Happy to report there are many options and opportunities.  Now I just need to allow change to happen (see below).

📖 I spent the week catching up on reading. I finished reading my fiction book (see below) and I did a lot of reading/research on AI models. I took it all the AI stuff up a notch, and am understanding the space much better. Still didn’t work much on my own book. But that will change soon.

⚡️ My entire city lost power again, for half the day. That was today. Things like that throw my whole schedule, and upset all the apple carts. Add falling ceilings, a tired body and a hectic to-do list…and today’s newsletter is more a narrative than a bunch of links. I just didn’t spend much time scrolling this week.

🍎 Also, speaking of apples. As I predicted in last weeks newsletter, Apple’s new product was indeed just a new phone. 😄 

Free Therapy…

Change incoming….

It’s not just the idea that matters.

Paulina’s Story…

(A somewhat irrelevant side note: I have a permanently-open document on my desktop and phone where I jot down ideas for this newsletter, throughout the week. Then on Friday evening I go through the document and write. (Side, side note: I used to do this with a glass of wine in hand, but G and I are restricting alcohol in 2025. I’m on the fence as to whether sacrificing this glass of wine ritual is worth it. We’ll still go through a bottle over the weekend, so I am not being totally deprived). Anyway, the newsletter document has had “Paulina” as a prompt for months, and I feel now is the right time to write about it.) 

Paulina Porizkova is a gorgeous model, who you might remember as the face of Estee Lauder back in the day of supermodels like Cindy Crawford and Linda Evangelista. I loved her then, and still love her now. (Fun fact: I ran into her and her then-husband once, when I was living in Boston). Her story, especially the last five years or so of her life, really resonates with me, and I want to share a quick recap with you.

Paulina was married to Ric Ocasek - the were together for 28 years. Their marriage broke down, and they were going through a separation when he unexpectedly died post a surgery. (She was looking after him during his illness, and was the one who found him dead). The death utterly devastated, for two reasons: 1. She clearly loved the man, (and still does) and 2. He totally fcked her over in the will, and she was left with nothing, not even the house they shared. He disinherited her and their two sons. This shocked and ruined her completely.

As she recovered and worked through her grief and betrayal, she was consistent in verbalising her persistent love for her ex, as well as her fury with him. She also took to Instagram, where she started to bare her soul, and live through her trauma, publicly. She became known, somewhat unfairly, as “that crying Instagram woman”, because she would post videos/photos of herself weeping. (Side note: she also posted/posts photos of herself sexy and near-naked. This is so empowering! She is stunning, even more so now than when she was young, and her body is incredible. She’ll be 60 in a couple of months!).

Slowly, but surely, this woman started to rise from the ashes. She picked herself up, and started to piece her life back together. She got some financial security, and started working as a model again. And then, she started dating. Now, I remind you, this woman is beautiful. You’d think she would be able to date and find someone quickly. But no. She really struggled. She struggled to meet men, to date them, and to keep them. She took us through these journeys (which often involved more weeping) on her Instagram. The recurring theme, as you might well imagine, is that now that she was in her late 50s, men were just not that interested (??). She felt invisible, overlooked, and unused to the indifference. This is painful for any woman, but it must be especially painful for a woman who was used to stopping men in their tracks. She started tagging her IG posts with #betweenJLoandBettyWhite.

My fascination grew. I was also single/dating at that time and honestly…if Paulina couldn’t find her soulmate, then what hope was there for me and any other midlife women starting over? I followed her journey closely, rooting for her all the way. At times, it was brutal and I appreciated her vulnerability and honesty. She always had hope, and resilience.

Then she started to date Aaron Sorkin (screenwriter of West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Newsroom. Love all of these!). Now, if I could pick my choice of Hollywood men, that’s the one I would pick too! The man is successful, and brilliant, but not overly famous. They made a great match, and I thought she had arrived. Surely, she wouldn’t reach further? But Aaron was in LA and she was in NYC, and for reasons not declared, the two decided to break off the love affair. I was devastated for her, but also in admiration: she struggled, she found love, and yet she could walk away because it wasn’t perfect. That takes guts.

And no, her love life didn’t get much easier after that. But in the meantime, she was working on her self-awareness and self-discovery, and started to write and speak more and more. She connected with other women, she wrote a book, she regained some financial security through modelling contracts (including back with Estee Lauder), and she found happiness with herself, and within herself. She was content, grateful and generous with her time. The crying stopped.

Above everything, she stood up - loudly!- for all middle aged women. She took head-on the shame, the guilt, the invisibility that so many of us feel, and she conquered it. She posted raw photos of her journey, and she bared her soul in her Instagram captions. And although she clearly has all the advantage that good bone structure provides, she is still relatable. The bestie we all need.

And you know what happened as she discovered, and accepted, herself? She found the love of her life. Jeff Greenstein is also a Hollywood screenwriter (Will and Grace), and the two are obsessed with each other. They’ve been together for over a year now, and their happiness and pure joy with each other is contagious, and inspirational.

The reason this has been sitting in my “to-write” folder for a while is because I think her story can teach us so much: beauty doesn’t solve love problems, (and thus lack of beauty does not create them); women need to protect themselves financially in writing; we need to love ourselves first before we can be loved; as soon as we are ready, the right partner (and other good things) will be able to enter; life is a journey, it’s not meant to be easy. But above everything, we are responsible for our joy.

Call it magic, manifestation, acceptance or just self-belief. Whatever it is, we are in charge. Good to know!

💔 Oh, and for those who need to hear it: she is a stellar example of how bitterness towards your ex or towards the hand that life deals you, is never productive, and never the best use of energy. Moving on and empowering oneself to joy and peace is the best revenge (but honestly, revenge is over-rated). She was angry (livid!) with her ex, but didn’t allow the anger to cripple her. She became the author of her own story, and took responsibility for it. Not easy, but so empowering! 💪 

Go follow Paulina on Instagram, and go back about 2 years on her timeline, and browse forward. You’ll see a metamorphosis.

(PS: I feel some kinship with Paulina, and have done so since the 1990s. I’m making it official here: I’d put money on the fact that our paths will cross at some point.

Letting go…

I am going to think (and write) a lot more about letting go. I have a mixed approach to this: I struggle (sometimes, a lot) to let people and things go, and then I get to a breaking point and release them with a snap of the fingers, instantly.

When we talk about “letting go” we usually mean relationships (friends, lovers, family members), but I think the bigger culprit is that many of us are stuck holding on to old beliefs, old patterns, old habits and - in my case - old houses 😂.

I have no idea why I am struggling to let this house of mine go, other than the fact that I love the garden (trees, trees and more trees) and that it is the only anchor to a life that will be nothing but a memory once the house is released. I grew up in this house, and it is the only thing that exists in the history of my non-adult, parents-still-alive life. Once it’s gone, so is my anchored life. I will have to float away, but to where? (To be clear, this is not just about “roof over head”. I’ve obviously lived in great houses other than this one, and can’t wait to do so again!).

I am a big believer in the Universe delivering what is needed, at just the right time. So when, in the hours after my ceiling collapsed, I was browsing Facebook and came across this, I took it to heart.

(This is a form of “if you love it, let it go, if it comes back it’s yours, if not it never was”.)

I am intrigued by the idea of “the right time to let go is always”. Do I definitely agree with it? Probably not totally. It’s scary! Shouldn’t we hold onto things we want to keep? What if, by “always” letting them go, those things/people don’t feel appreciated? Don’t realise how important they are to us? But then again, what if we hold onto them out of fear that we’ll never do better? That this is surely as good as things can get?

I’m mixed on this. I think if we always keep on pursuing “better” things, and don’t commit to those we have, it could be out of fear. Or self-rejection that we actually deserve the good things we have. On the other hand, I know I hold onto things that are unhealthy for me (mostly things and beliefs, not people). And my family house is one of these things. Our 40-year old journey has come to an end, and I need to accept that. Move on, Eve. Literally!

I feel heard…

Smile-worthy…

This made me laugh, and made me think of G 😂 . IYKYK.

I’ve been reading…

I finished reading The Invisible life of Addie LaRue. It’s weird: I’ve read just two fiction books this year, and by coincidence both of them have the main character live for ever, without ageing! I thought this book handled the story line much better than the first book (How to stop time, Hatt Haig).

It’s slightly slow in places, but overall it’s so beautifully written, and very well thought out. The author raises thought provoking questions, and as a bonus includes a reading/thinking guide at the end of the book that adds another dimension to the reading experience.

It’s the type of book I wish one of my friends would read, so I could discuss it with them. Buy it here.

I’ve been watching…

We didn’t watch a movie this week either, but regular programming (ha ha!) resumes next week, hopefully, when my movie-partner-in-crime returns from galavanting around Europe.

In the meantime, I am somewhat excited to see that Shonda Rhimes (Of Gray’s Anatomy and How to get away with murder fame) has a new show on Netflix. It’s one of those “10 guests, 1 murder” type, ala Murder on the Orient Express, except that this is Shonda Rhimes so it’s not 10 guests, it’s 157 😂 . I also think that the murder happens at the White House.

I will not be watching episode by episode, but if it’s good G and I might just binge watch the season when it’s fully out (we’ve been known to do that before). 

Thanks for reading!

Want more? You can find past editions here.

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PS