Hi !  Welcome back. March is now done and dusted - hope you enjoyed it. This week I am thinking (and writing) about beautiful people, emotional earthquakes, unusual breakfasts, agency, and life reviews. - Eve D.❣️

Week in review…

👍️ I’ve had an exciting week, work wise. On the backend of the long weekend, I came out with determination to (finally!) do something I have been planning to do for a very long time. This is a career move, and I am excited. Once that decision was made, everything just fell into my lap. Suddenly, the right connections were appearing in my inbox, random conversations were validating my ideas and feedback has been great. When things go this smoothly, I know I am onto something. I’ll tell you more about it next week, but let me repeat - I am super excited.

🚶‍♀️ I am still obsessed with doing the Camino trail. This seems fitting. I see my need to do the Camino as an acceptance that I am ready to change, that the metamorphosis is coming to an end. The butterfly is ready to emerge 😀 . And so, there is no way I can wait 4-5 years to do it. I want to do it this year. It’s my last chance while Micole is still at home, and not working full time, so she can help out with Zac etc. The timeline seems mad, I know. I would have to do it in Sept/Oct which is by far my busiest time of the year, and also the last period that any real work gets done in South Africa before the December lull. It is a highly irresponsible - and, I repeat, mad - thing for me to do, but I think I might do it anyway. The logistics are insane (how do I leave a 14yr old for 45 days??) but ….let’s see what the universe delivers.

⛰️ Train for the Camino I must! I walked my usual hike with Laura, and then this morning G and I woke up super early to drive an hour out to a beautiful African farm. He did some mountain biking, and I did some hiking. It’s glorious to walk a new route alone, both for the ability to think, but also for the permission to pace myself as I wish. No pressure from anyone, no need to keep up. The views were breathtaking, and very much worth the climb. (For the record, I hate climbing. I’d rather walk flat).

🥐 A good hike deserves a good breakfast. G’s was most unusual: Shokupan french toast with matcha cheesecake, blueberry cheong, and ginger sesame praline. I don’t even know what some of those words mean, but it was interesting and I’m glad G is brave enough to try new dishes so I don’t have to 🤣 . I just had plain old scrambled eggs. Last night G and I had the most amazing Indian dinner. It was so good, and there is still some leftovers in the fridge for a snack. Difficult to believe Indian food is so new to me, but it’s fast becoming my favourite cuisine.

🩸 Micole cut herself badly on a glass that cracked in her hand. I am not saying more on this because I get whoozy just thinking about it, but it was a thing. The adrenalin rush I got from helping her deal with it kept me up the whole night.

🌳 I got tired of my office, so worked a bit in my garden this week. Not gardening, but actually working. Laptop and all. Put out a blanket under the trees, and enjoyed the birds. It was so calming, and beautiful, and I have absolutely no idea why I don’t do it more often.

Free therapy

March review

Honestly, what the actual fck? Is it the end of March already? I don’t actually have a problem with it being almost April, I have a problem with how fast the year accelerates from here on (especially if some us are planning to do the Camino in September). I’m still not happy with the pace of my motion forward, but I am also not particularly interested in working more. Go figure.

Exactly a month ago, I wrote in this newsletter what my March goals were: “… much more focus on work, writing, and getting fit/strong. Find a 30-day hobby/habit (will need to figure that out today!). I also think I might commit to posting a selfie or a reel a day - this would be an extension of the “mirror” experience I spoke to above.”

I literally did none of that.

The month wasn’t a write off though:

• I realigned my work (more on that next week)

• I watched 4+ movies, as well as new series

• I fell in love with the Camino trail, and am exploring the option of doing it this year

• I hiked and walked, a lot

• I fixed my car 

• I had numerous coffee dates, but I didn’t meet any significant new people.

• I moved Twitter off my phone 

• Continue to have a great time with G

• Started tutoring a kid in maths

• Played around with the Cricut 

• Pseudo-adopted a cat 

April goals: Start gym. Walk 100km. Read 2 fiction books. Connect with ten new people (social and work). Eat lots of chocolate for Easter. Bake 2 really good cakes.

Random Observation…

I’ve sometimes wondered what it would be like to be drop-dead gorgeous. How much easier would life be? How fun would dating life be? I’ve heard every beautiful person who talks about this kind of stuff say that yes, looks open doors and can be used to one’s advantage, but overall, they are not nearly the asset us common people think they are. Often, I am told, they are a hindrance.

I was reminded of this when watching a young, gorgeous woman document her Camino trail experience in a series of YouTube videos. And although she doesn’t address this directly ever, it is impossible to ignore how her looks affected her journey. During the 3 hour of video, I saw men pester her all the time. Many were rude, direct, and sometimes downright scary. They demanded to know if she was travelling alone, why she was travelling alone, ogled her everywhere she went etc etc. And mind you…she wasn’t calling them out in the video, she was simply documenting her day. The observations are my own. And although she did make some good male friends during her trip, and those treated her with full-on respect, I am sure there were many times during her trails when she would have wanted to just blend into the background.

This reminds me of a book I recently read, where main character makes a pact with the devil. Part of that pact makes the character appear perfect and irresistible to everyone he meets. At first it seemed like a great life add-on, but ultimately being admired for reasons other than one’s “self” were not worth it, and made life not worth living. (I won’t link the book, because a lot of what I said is a spoiler.)

Point is…if you are evaluating someone’s life experience, make sure you evaluate the full life, not just the parts that are appealing.

Things that I took note of…

✅ Something I heard recently: there’s a difference between listening to yourself, and talking to yourself. Talking is good: it helps you tell yourself the things you need to hear to achieve goals and overcome obstacles. But listening to yourself is bad, because that inner voice is often full of negativity, self-doubt and reasons to give up on goals.

✅ Cooking tip! Put a clove of garlic on the end of a fork, and use it to like a spatula to move around anything you are sauteing, like spinach or mushrooms. (h/t Tim Ferris). This is one of those “it can’t hurt” tips, and will make everything taste better.

✅ For $200k, a German startup will freeze your body and attempt to revive you in the future. Would you do this, if you had the cash? I honestly don’t know. I have a feeling we would find the 2225 world very depressing (assuming we are still around, obviously). But it’s an interesting thought experiment. (My thoughts: the then-goverment of whichever country would probably treat us as specimens, and take away all our autonomy).

Three options…

TL;DR: You have three options. Accept, change or leave. Don’t just wish, act.

• Unhappy in your job » leave it

• Unhappy in your career » change it

• Unhappy in your relationship » leave it

• Unhappy with your child’s fashion sense » accept it

• Unhappy with your weight » accept, or change

• Unhappy that you have to move city for your partner’s job » accept it

Lifequake…

You know what an earthquake is, obviously. A lifequake is something metaphorically similar. It’s “a significant and unexpected shift in the trajectory of your life, that at first feels devastating, but has the beneficial outcome of catalyzing personal growth, transformation and rebirth”. So basically, it’s something that happens to you that seems awful and devastating, but then later turns out to be the best thing for you, ever.

I know we’ve all had them. For me (unpopular opinion incoming…) Covid was such an event. It happened at a point in my life that if I wasn’t forced to slow down and shut myself from the world, life would have been very, very difficult. Other lifequake examples can be: getting fired from your job, an unexpected break up, a health concern, even a prison sentence can turn ones life around.

The problem with lifequakes is that we can only recognise them as such in hindsight. At the time that this “unexpected and significant” thing is happening to us, we are very far away from spinning it in a positive light (that’s what friends are for, btw). And even if we do want to “stay positive” and try to imagine how whatever this terrible thing is will actually turn into a good thing, we actually don’t know the details. Only time will tell. It’s frustrating how much of our life we have to hand over to the Universe, and hope that it really is looking out for us. (But, don’t forget, you still have to act. See above!)

I’VE BEEN WATCHING…

YouTube has been feeding me shorts with excerpts of You’ve got Mail (which is a wonderful movie) and I was really in the mood for a lighthearted, gentle romcom as my movie choice this week. I chose Down with Love and it was ok. It’s a bit of a play on “oldies”, but it took it a bit too far I think. Nevertheless, I loved the fashion which was completely over the top and fabulous. If you want a lighthearted romcom, this could do the trick.

In better news, we have a new iPad in the family, and it came with 3 free months of Apple TV, which I have been itching to get, but have also been telling myself that I am too busy for right now. But who will say no to free stuff? So now I am watching Shrinking (brilliant!!!) and will be watching Severence soon. And The Morning Show. Highly recommend this underrated streaming service.

Thanks for reading!

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PS