Hi !  Welcome back. Yep, it’s May(!). This week I am thinking and writing about weekends with benefits, couches, hobbies, stray dogs and cats, ungrateful people and erotic blueprints - Eve D.❣️

Week in review…

📆 We’re done with the long weekends and short weeks. On the one hand I am sad 😢, on the other hand it will be good to get back into a solid routine. I’ve enjoyed April, and used the downtime to do a lot of soul searching, often into places I never thought I’d visit. I know everyone (but especially me) always talks about how time is swooshing by, but honestly…it’s May already. If I’m going to be walking the Camino later this year, then I actually only have at most five working months left. And given that four have just flown past, this is not good news at all.

😍 A natural benefit of all the long weekends is that G and I got to spend more (relaxed) time together, and honestly last weekend was one of my favourites. It was partially defined by exceptional food. Out the four memorable meals we ate, G cooked three. (Eve cooked zero, but she did take G out for the fourth 🤣 ). Here’s what was on the menu: 1. Best pizza in town for lunch (Eve); 2. Slow roasted leg of lamb with potato salad for dinner (G); 3. cream mushroom with bacon and fried halloumi cheese, on fresh ciabbata for breakfast (G); 4. Rib-eye steak with roasted butternut and potato salad (G). All accompanied by appropriate drinks (wine or beer or coffee). G really outdid himself. 🥰 

🛋️ I’m not done singing G’s praises: we also need to talk about his couch. G has what any estate agent would describe as an “entertainer’s dream kitchen space”. Think one massive room that functions as a dining room, a lounge and a super-modern kitchen, all anchored by a huge free standing center island. The lounge-part of this setup has a fireplace, a rug (for the dog(s)) and The Couch. This couch is the mother of all the couches. You could easily seat ten people on it, and have room to spare. It’s deep, and soft, and traps you like quicksand. And during one of my lazy long-weekend afternoons, I settled into the couch to read but magically woke up hours later to realise that G had tucked me in with a blanket, went grocery shopping for dinner, put on gentle music and filled the space with garlic infused scent as he cooked. To put it simply, the couch, and G, delivered. It was such a pleasure to be so well looked after.

🌧️ It’s still raining. Difficult to walk. (Yes, it’s an excuse. I got lazy).

🎟️ I went to a hobby trade show with Laura. Think massive Cricut stands, arts and crafts, model makers, scrapbooking, workshops and lots and lots of people. Here is what I learnt: a) hobbies are expensive b) many people (too many?) treat hobbies as a business and c) I’m not a fan of crowds. But it was a super-fun morning, and Laura and I did not stop chit chatting once. I managed to not buy too much (see point “a”, above) but I do have lots of new goodies to play with on the Cricut.

💸 Another thing that the Hobby-x show potentially inspired was a 3D printer for Zac. He’s always wanted one, but I’ve dismissed them as a silly gimmick. Well, I need to learn to better listen to Zac. These 3D printers are proper, and they can absolutely be used to setup a side hustle, or even a main business (as Zac has been telling me, see point “b” above). I’m now semi-convinced, and have asked him to put together a financial model/proposal for a 3D printing business, and if it looks good I will help him set it up. He’s eager to make money, and I’m eager to support his efforts.

🤞 Speaking of kids making money, Micole-the-actuary is now entering the interview phase of her life, and is starting to get headhunted or at least sniffed-at by the big financial firms. She’s got her first serious interview lined up on Wednesday (she made it through the first round filter) and I guess this is the game she will now be playing until she matches with the right offer. It will be stressful, I am sure, but I am pretty confident that she will end up with the right job for her, before she graduates at the end of the year. And then life will never be the same again! (For any of us three, actually). Fingers crossed, exciting chapter!

🐶 G adopted a rescue dog, Toby! I can’t say too much about Toby because I haven’t met him yet (that happens this afternoon), but he looks so cute and playful. G already has a dog, who is very loving and friendly, but he’s also a bullterrier, aka The Boss, so things are a bit tricky with this new Toby addition. We are hopeful it all works out, but if not, I am going to steal Toby for myself! On my side, the stray cat that has been living in my back yard is now simply The Cat, and has miraculously managed to boss us all into playing and entertaining him all the time, despite living mostly in the garden. And he eats a lot. I don’t think we can keep him (my dog Lisa really isn’t a fan, not that The Cat cares), and I am going to try and find it a loving home this week, before the cold sets in.

🎾 G and I are have been invited to play Paddle against two of his friends tomorrow (pickle ball to you Americans), and here is what I need to tell you: 1) I am not sporty at all 2) G is sporty as hell. We might not make it.

Wish me luck.

Ice breaker question:

For me it will always be the voices and laughter of loved ones who have passed on.

No good deed goes unpunished…

I helped someone out this week, and as a result saved them a lot of money and about a month of hair-pulling re-development of their website. I wasn’t asked to do this directly, but when I heard about the problem I volunteered because I realised the person in question was being taken for a ride. It took me about an hour to fix the issues, and it felt wholesome to do a good deed. I didn’t expect anything in return, and went on with my week.

But it took this person a couple of days to thank me, and even then, it was in a two word text. And then, they sent me a list of more (most definitely unsolicited) requests without as much as a “please” and with a full-on expectation that I will continue to provide support for as long as they need it. At one point, she literally asked me to do at task that would take her “too long” to do herself. I shut this down quickly, but I was more than just a bit taken aback. It’s sad when people behave like this, because it disincentivises the rest of us from being nice and kind to each other. It also doesn’t give me much hope that she will ever “pay it forward”, which is kind of the point of doing a good deed, no?

Well behaved dogs and other miracles

I came across this post on Substack, written by Zoe Mendelson, and absolutely needed to share. I think it’s adorable. (I’ve probably lifted more of the post than I should have, so please go and give Zoe a view, like or follow to balance out the karma). The below is taken from her post, but I’ve shortened and bolded for clarity:

My dog, to put it politely, is not this well behaved.

And, related…how cute is this, below? Bonus: dog’s name is Toby too!

Odds and Ends …

✅ If you’ve seen Gwyneth Paltrow’s Sex, Love and Goop series you’ll know all about your “erotic blueprint”. The quiz to discover your own is online, and it’s free. (If you haven’t watched the show, I strongly recommend it). And if you don’t know what an erotic blueprint is, it’s like your “love language”, but for intimacy. I took the quiz and I’m a “sensual” which is spot on. Highly recommend…it will teach you things about yourself, and it’s fun.

✅ I think it’s fun to travel around themes, not countries. So maybe you want to plan an itinerary around the 17 most beautiful independent bookshops in the world, or the top 25 restaurants in the world? Either way, you’ll be visiting South Africa (if you’re not already here 🤣 )

✅ I’m very tempted to knit this sweater. I usually only knit during the Fifa World Cup or Eurocup (i.e. once every two years, and not this year), but apparently there is now a Fifa Club World Cup in June, and maybe I will be silly enough to start watching it. In which case, this would be my project. (I can buy the full knitting kit, and choose my own colours).

Speaking of writing…

Quick, honest update on my other writing home, About Blooming Time! on Substack. I am still loving the platform, but more so as a reader than a writer. The level or writing on there is phenomenal, once you start curating the type of stuff you enjoy reading. But as a writer, I am not 100% convinced it is the right platform for me. I get the sense that most people are there to write well, thoughtfully and with the goal of building a following, and then converting that into paying subscribers. And of course there is nothing wrong with that, and I’m not excluding it as a road I might one day travel, but at this point I feel more comfortable to write the way this newsletter is written, rather than some big, literary essays that take a week or two to draft.

But my biggest problem with Substack is that the digital strategist side of me (which is really just a side of me that follows and analyzes tech trends) sees a lot of flaws in how Substack is designed and managed. I am definitely not going to bore you with the details, but these flaws are counter-productive to my ultimate goal of building a community focussed on social connection, .

So I’ll see. Luckily I am not in a hurry and have decided to kill three birds with one stone and use May to a) get into a daily publishing habit b) figure out Substack more deeply and c)figure out what exactly I want to do with About Blooming Time!. To that end, I am going to try and publish there at least five times a week, and test various strategies to see whether the system and the platform could be a good mix for me. If not, I’ll retreat and look for another option.

(Btw, if you are interested, so far I’ve published one piece there, “One day…is today”, excerpt below, and will probably publish one more this weekend).

I have questions…

I need this…: 

…yesterday.

I’ve been listening…

This is still one of my favourite tunes, and its where the title of this week’s newsletter comes from:

When I first heard the song, I was positive it was sung by a woman. This is one of those instances where the voice doesn’t suit the body. Nevertheless, the video below, shot on a rooftop in Paris, is a powerful rendition. (And I’ve finally understood the lyrics. It’s a sad song… ”…we were born, born to fail..”).

I’ve been watching…

Oh my word!! We watched The Fall Guy this week, and I loved it. One of my favourite films I’ve watched this year. It stars Ryan Gosling (adore this man!) and Emily Blunt, and it’s funny, clever and silly. It has absolutely the right balance of self-deprecation and good story telling. As the viewer, you are not expected to take it seriously, and yet you will marvel at how well it has all been delivered. It honestly could easily have gone the other way and been simply “stupid”, but luckily that is not the case at all. Highly recommend, but doubly so if you are a Ryan Gosling fan. It also stars the woman who played Rebecca in Ted Lasso, if you’ve watched it.

PS. I see there is a new Nine Perfect Strangers coming out in May. If you haven’t watched the first one, I also recommend it. (Nicole Kidman).

Thanks for reading!

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