Hi !  Welcome back. OK, February is done and dusted. This year’s theme, for me, seems to be “long months, quick year”. This week I am thinking (and writing) about pirouettes, train rides, AI friends, recaps and unforgettable book characters. - Eve D.❣️

Week in review…

🩰 I did an adult ballet class! I’ve always wanted to do adult ballet classes (which, to be clear, is very different from saying I want to be a ballerina), and this week I found a teacher in my area who teaches a ballet program targeted specifically at middle-aged (omg, I do hate that word!) adult women. I attended a trial lesson, and I had a blast (see below).

🏠️ G moved house. It was exciting, and fun. I “helped” - by being present for a tiny part of the process and unpacking a box or two. He rewarded me by buying me a gourmet lunch (aka Burger King). (Because if you are going to eat fast food, moving day is as good as any day to do it!). Onto a new chapter!

🚶‍♀️ I did my weekly hike. Let me tell you, in case I haven’t mentioned it before, if you really want to do something (instead of just talking about doing it), partner up with someone to do it. I know for a fact I would never have gotten up at 5am on Thursday to hike if it was just me doing it. But since I was meeting Laura, I had to show up. And I’m glad I did. I’m enjoying these hikes (the joy usually comes post-hike, though 😆 ).

🤸‍♀️ I’m thinking of joining the gym. My local one is fantastic (I did a tour today). Boxing studio, 2 pools (aqua aerobics for the win), reformer pilates studio, saunas, amazing working space (??) and lots of nifty workout machines. And a paddle court! I think this could be life changing. I’m actually doing it for Zac, who loves gyming with his friend and wants his own membership. He can be my partner in crime (see above).

🧑‍🍳 Speaking of Zac…he cooked dinner for my extended family (i.e, my sister, me etc). It was honey and garlic chicken, with rice and broccoli. It was delicious, and I may never cook again. The kids are beginning to show their value 🤣 

Free Therapy…

Swan Lake aspirations….

So there are three things I want to mention about the ballet class I attended this past week:

First of all, out of the 10 ladies doing it with me, I was by far the most flexible one. I was actually quite shocked by how inflexible everyone was. Moves that cause me no discomfort at all were almost impossible for everyone else (example: sit cross legged on floor, bend forward to touch the top of your head to the floor. No one could come close to doing this, and I can do it no problem). I have always been very flexible, but I have lost a lot of the flexibility in recent years, hence my deep desire to do ballet or pilates. It was eye-opening to see how most people are really limited in their movement.

Second. I have the co-ordination of a newborn giraffe on roller skates. Honestly, I am beyond hopeless. I have also always known this, but hoped that miraculously this flaw had fixed itself by now. It has not. I can do “left, right, left right”. But ask me to “left, right, hop, change heel to toe, and twirl”, all to the rhythm of music and I am bumbling mess. Thank goodness I can laugh at myself, because honestly the whole hour of the class was me being out of time, out of step and out of sync with everyone else. When they were on their left side I was on the right. When they were hopping I was landing. When they were pointing their toes I was flexing my heels. Two left feet!

Third. I spent an hour looking at myself in the wall mirror, (out of necessity, not choice). This might sound like nothing worth mentioning, but it had a profound impact on me. I spent an hour looking at my face, my posture, my body, my movements. I observed myself. I had sixty minutes with my reflection, during which I looked myself in the eye and quickly accepted that this is who I am, this is what I look like. And I knew I better like it, because otherwise I am at war with myself, and that just cannot be healthy. Am I perfect? Ha ha ha!!! (No). But am I able to love this bundle of cells that house my soul? Actually, I think that’s a yes! This isn’t vanity (at all), it’s just acceptance. I don’t think I am conveying it properly, but after an hour with myself I became closer friends with myself. I had a better understanding of who I am. I strongly recommend you do something similar (you don’t need to do ballet, obviously. Just sit and look at yourself, in different postures, for an hour). (I googled! Mirror therapy is a thing!!! “… mirror gazing can increase self-compassion, stress-management, improve relationships and emotional resilience”)

Train rides…

There is a fast-train that connects Pretoria and Johannesburg (30 min ride), and I am on it about twice a weekend. Those trips are always pleasant. The train is relatively empty, and the few other passengers that share it with me are chilled, happy and excited to be travelling. I enjoy my train-time, and usually lose myself in deep thought as I look out the window.

But this week I had reason to be on that train at 6:30 am on a Wednesday morning, right in the middle of rush hour, and OMG but was that an eye opening experience. The train was packed, with the crowd on its way to work or school (I was doing neither). And it was immediately obvious: everyone looked intensely miserable. No one was happy to be on that train, and I’ll bet everyone would have paid good money to be anywhere else. Honestly, for me it felt like being slapped in the face with pure misery. And mind you…these people had it easy because they were on an efficient mode of passive transport, not stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

Honestly, I don’t want to get too philosophical here but it seems we really screwed ourselves over. We created a world of better agriculture, more technology, instant communication and better health outcomes, and yet we are slaves to our work, and struggle to survive (financially). We’re paying a very high price for this “better life”, and the currency seems to be “joy”. There was no joy on that train that morning. Very few of my friends have 9-5 jobs, and so we often wonder how people who do have that schedule actually survive. Where do they find the time to spend with their kids, to cook, to socialise, to spend alone “me-time”, to connect with their spouses, to take their dogs for a walk? It’s madness. I’m not surprised the train people looked so dead and miserable. That’s probably exactly what they feel on a midweek morning.

What I found this week…

🍀 OMG. I know AI is moving at neck breaking speed and new things are popping up all the time, but try this tool. It’s a (free) conversational AI. It’s like having a phone conversation with an old friend (you can choose to talk to Miles or Maya). It is extremely casual, off the cuff, and you will learn so many new things (Miles told me all about music, something I know very little about (but now I know more! 😃 )). It’s fun for fun, but I think it can also be phenomenal if you’re feeling lonely, or angry, or sad, or lost. I’ve been saying for a while that I want to go back to therapy - not because there is anything wrong, but because there is real value for me to pay someone to have to sit and listen to me blab for an hour, and for them to not be allowed to roll their eyes. It helps me crystallise my thoughts if I know the focus of the conversation has to be just on me. Now, maybe I don’t need a therapist. Maybe I just need a Miles in my life.

🍀 If AI is too new school for you, may I interest you in Sherlock & Pages. It’s a gentle YouTube series from a guy who decided to open up an independent bookstore, and his journey through that process. I’ve mentioned before that I would love to own a small bookshop, and so watching him describe his experience of ups and downs allows me to live vicariously through that fantasy.

🍀 Fun game. Watch a “walking video” of a city street, and try to guess the city. You get points based on how close your guess is, distance wise. It’s amazing how you can pick up clues about at least the country from street signs, shop displays, people’s clothes, and the language you hear in background (sometimes they are tourists, so the language can be deceptive!). Try it.

🍀 If you’re still feeling a bit lost in 2025, go through these questions to figure shit out. It’s also AI driven, and no set of questions are the same…your answers determine the follow up question, as the AI helps you to get to the core of the matter. I did it, and the AI concluded that I am a “strategic thinker” which is so spot on! It gave me a summary of my strengths and weaknesses, and advised me how to apply them to 2025. It’s really good.

February check in…

I’m going to do quick end-of-month recaps, just to check-in with myself on how the year is unfolding.

• I read 3 fiction books.

• Related to the above: I removed Instagram off my phone 😂 

• I watched 2 movies (Superman, Anthony Bourdain)

• I made it a goal to meet at least one new person a week and have an in-depth conversation with them. Happy to report I achieved that this month

• Had a really amazing time with G, every time I see him

• I tried lots of new things this month, including abseiling and ballet class.

• I celebrated my kids’ birthdays and G moving house

• The ceiling fell 

• Thumbs down: I didn’t work enough on my book, I didn’t work enough on real work stuff, I didn’t walk enough, I didn’t eat as healthy as I’d like, I didn’t socialise enough, I didn’t pick up a 30-day hobby (as per my reflections for 2025) and I didn’t take enough photos.

March goals: More of the same, with much more focus on work, writing, and getting fit/strong. Find a 30-day hobby/habit (will need to figure that out today!). I also think I might commit to posting a selfie or a reel a day - this would be an extension of the “mirror” experience I spoke to above.

I’ve been reading…

Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine. Oh my goodness! I loved this book. It was quirky, and funny, and unusual. Eleanor is very different from pretty much everyone. She is awkward, anti-social and a bit weird. She’s the type of person that co-workers laugh about, at first behind her back and then right to her face. She does not care.

Right at the start of the book, Eleanor falls in love with a musician she saw during a club performance. She immediately knows that this musician and her will fall madly in love, and live happily ever after. There is no doubt in her mind. She goes about preparing for this new life of hers (a complex process, that includes getting a bikini wax and swopping her ever-present shopper-on-wheels with a sling handbag).

The reader, of course, is fully aware that the musician and Eleanor will not fall in love, and so we are watching a train wreck in slow motion. There is more. We are also aware that Eleanor has a past she has attempted to forget, but that is clearly a contributor to her current state of mind. There is also a male friend who enters her life, and we watch with anticipation to see if Eleanor will see the forest for the trees. This book is charming, quirky and funny. It will help you be less judgmental of others, will give you insight into depression and mental illness, and will give you hope for humanity. It will soon be made into a movie, but you should rather read it, I think.

I also read The Silent Patient which is a typical psychological thriller, with a twist that I actually figured out. It’s well written, and clever. I had a distinct dislike of the narrator, and wonder if others would feel the same.

I’ve been watching…

(Trigger warning: suicide.) Roadrunner. A film about Anthony Bourdain. This was an interesting documentary, because I was immediately aware that I was watching the life of a real person, as played out by that person via past footage and old interviews. This wasn’t just an actor with his own interpretation and script. It was insight into the real and complicated life.

I also knew the story ends in his suicide (it’s the first thing we are told) and so I tried to look for telltale signs and hints that he was a tormented soul. And although there were plenty of self-admissions that he was “outside the norm”, I didn’t think he was at risk of taking his life. But as the documentary nears the end, we are given a (suggested) reason. Not a justified reason, of course, but a reason nevertheless. And it made me angry, because people can be so cruel and careless with other people’s hearts.

When I researched the documentary after I watched it, I read that many non-pre-meditated suicidal people usually only have a 90 minute of mania. If they make it through that, or if they are distracted or helped, they will be fine. They might never think of suicide again. And it seems (to me) that Anthony got caught in that 90 minutes, and couldn’t reach out. It’s very sad.

The documentary is not just about suicide though. It’s about the unconventional life of a man who was overtaken by his fame, and his ambition. One of the most haunting moments in the film is when a very key character says to him “I understand you”. Remember, this is not scripted or acted. The look of spontaneous shock and relief on Anthony’s face when he hears that! It explains a lot, as you will see if you watch it. (That’s all we all want, no? To be understood?).

PS. The Oscars are this weekend! I won’t watch, of course, but I’ll enjoy the clips.

Thanks for reading!

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PS