Hi ! Welcome back. It’s still cold, unless you live in Spain where temp hit 43 deg (110 Fahrenheit). This week I am thinking and writing about uneventful weeks, calories, comforts, long train trips, Alaskan cruises…and what settings I would change in G if he was programmable 🤣 - Eve D.❣️

Week in review…

Nothing great happened this week! It was cold, and I hibernated as much as I could. It even rained, which is massively unusual for this time of the year where I live. I could have gone hiking, but I said no because I did not feel like it. Isn’t it wonderful how we can just say “no” if we give ourselves permission to? (Side note: this right-of-refusal expires this week. Next week, if either one of says no to the hike, we’ve agreed we would drag ourselves out of each other’s house and not accept any excuses).

So this week, in brief, I:

• watched the rugby with some friends. We won. By miles.

• had coffee with other friends, for much needed catch ups;

• had my car cleaned, (also much needed!);

• got back to writing my book (it’s been a while!);

• enjoyed watching Zac enjoy his Robotics course. He now knows he wants to study engineering, which is a relief, tbh. We were lacking some direction there.

• I also had an altercation with a woman on WhatsApp, which reminded me that some people are batshit crazy (I won’t bore you with the details),

• wrote an email to the New York Times to complain when I lost my Wordle streak due to no fault of my own and they listened and reinstated my streak from their side (Micole laughed at me when I wrote the email, so the joke is on her).

Counting calories

So I’ve put on weight, and it needs to disappear, but I wasn’t sure how. Dieting is not an option 🤣 . Basically, what I would like to happen is for me to be able to eat what I want, and in return I’d agree to limit quantities. Spoiler alert: this has not worked out as I hoped. So I was thrilled to find a solution to my dilemma in the book I told you about last week Comfort Crisis. Hear me out.

In the book the author talks about a nutritionist guy called Trevor Kashey who has a very welcoming approach to dieting, and who has a great track record of helping people lose massive amount of weight, and keep it off. In a nutshell, he says you should eat whatever you want, as long as you eat within a specific calorie intake per day. Which is exactly what I am looking for! The caveat? You must expect to be hungry.

Let’s talk about the hunger. First of all, the reason that this even appeared in the Comfort Crisis book is because the author’s thesis is that our continued quest to get and stay comfortable is putting us at a wellness and health risk. We are lazy, over fed, over stimulated, stressed out, obese and complacent. He says we should get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And hunger is one of those states that we should accept. We don’t have to feel full all the time. Being hungry is not a bad thing. Second, I am rarely if ever hungry even if I don’t eat for a full day. As it is, I only eat one main meal a day. Third of all, you’ll only feel hungry if you eat crap. Which brings me to my next point: the calorie-density of food.

Foods that are calorie-dense are foods with a high caloric count, but little nutrition. Example: a small croissant and a medium potato have about the same number of calories, but you would have to eat eight croissants to feel as full as you would after eating the potato. We are beginning to see the problem, right? If you eat foods that are low density, you will stay within your calorie limit for the day, and not be hungry. If you opt to eat other food (croissants), you will need to give up some of that “filling” food, and you won’t feel as full. Your choice. (Well, my choice). Best thing to eat is unprocessed grains (grains you have to cook in water before you eat them, like rice), vegetables and low-fat animal protein.

So, how many calories? Here is where it gets eye-opening. There are online calorie calculators that tell me I need about 2,000 calories per day. That’s a decent amount. If I want to lose weight, I have to eat less than that. How much less? Well…a kilogram of fat is 7,700 calories (!!!). So if I want to lose 5kg (11 pounds), I need to have a “deficit” of about 40,000 calories, so my body can “eat my fat”. If I cut down by 250 calories a day, this will take 160 days, or about 5 months. Which sounds right…losing a kilo a month is a reasonable goal, and ensures it’s not a quick-fix. So I either need to eat 250 less calories than I need, per day, OR I need to increase how many calories I need while keeping calorie intake at about 2,000. (You increase calorie need by getting more active).

All of this is hunky-dory until I started to read the packaging to see how many calories are in things. An 80gr slab of my favourite chocolate - which I have no problem eating in one sitting - is about 2,000 calories !!! That’s more than my entire day allocation. This is what Trevor Kashey means when he says you can eat what you want, but you will be hungry: I can eat the chocolate, but then I can’t eat anything else for that day.

I’ve given you the very simple version of all this, obviously. Things are a bit more nuanced…you do actually have to eat a well balanced diet, and weight is a poor measure of anything because you might put on muscle while losing fat etc etc. But the whole exercise has been eye-opening, and has made me more conscious of sacrifices I have to make if I eat “unhealthy” things. It has also explained where those 5kg came from!

(BTW, I am not fixated on this for vanity reasons. I am actually okay if I don’t shed the weight. What I am more concerned about is putting on more weight, slowly, and then waking up in 10 years time realising I have to lose 20kg and having to deal with health repercussions of carrying that extra weight.)

Too soon?

Packing my bags:

YouTube is showing me travel videos by the truckload, and now I am once again obsessed with travel. I used to say that I am done travelling because I have been to a lot of countries and have seen pretty much all I need to see…but I was wrong! And I’ve also realised that what I actually hate about travel is the kind of travel that takes me through countless airports, and hustle and bustle of transit which is such a headache, always.

I am now all about leisurely travel. Lazy travel. The “put me on a First Class train for 5 days” kind of travel. I’m not the only one! This video below has 13 million views!

One consistent dream of mine is to sail on the Queen Mary 2 from Southhampton to New York. I have never dated anyone who has shared this dream! All my partners were/are allergic to the concept of a cruise ship. But…as the video below points out, Queen Mary is not a cruise ship… it’s a cruise liner. If you don’t know the difference, then I “don’t know how to be any clearer” (…but, as a digression, I will direct you to the funniest Schitt’s Creek video where David and Moira are trying to figure out what “fold in cheese means”. If you know, you know. )

Anyway, it takes 7 days to sail across the Atlantic Ocean on the QM2, and you need to dress up for dinner on at least 3 occasions. And when I say dress up, I mean dress up. Black tie, ballroom dress. It sounds like a nightmare, except that it also sounds like a whole lot of fun! When was the last time I dressed up in fancy-fancy clothes? Eons ago. Not many occasions to do that!

But what totally sold me on the QM2 is the YouTube videos of the food you eat while there. OMG. I want that life, even if only for seven days. (Let’s ignore the above section of “Counting calories” for the time being 🤣 ). And if you need another major bonus: the QM2 is the only passenger ship in the world that allows you to bring your dog!

Anyway, I strongly recommend Jeb Brook’s YouTube channel. He will inspire you to take train rides in Japan and cruises to Alaska. You can ignore all his First Class airline reviews if you don’t want to deal with airports. There is a whole, gentle world out there waiting to be seen, and I am putting my name down for the experience.

Good reads 

✅ Receipts from a bookshop. I’ve mentioned this one before I think, but it needs a second cheer. Katie Clapham writes about her Friday as bookshop sales assistant… she takes you through the whole day, and captures people’s idiosyncrasies brilliantly. It’s quite delightful. “Suddenly, somehow, the shop looks…busy? There are six people in the shop, and they are not all together. What’s going on? Two paperback purchases are made in quick succession. Then a small boxed jigsaw to a little boy who spies Chick, Chick, Chick, Chick, Chicken on the shelf as his mum is paying and they sing “Chick Chick Chick Chick Chicken” together. She tells him they might come back to get the chicken book later.”

✅ How to build a personal brand when you do lots of things. This piece was written for me (and G). It asks: what do you do if you don’t want to focus on just one thing for work? Me! Me! Me! Not G. Every time I came gushing about a new idea I have that will make my life complete, he yawns and says “Another shiny thing. Focus!” Anyway, joke is on him. Turns out focussing on many things is actually a good thing. (Related post: I tried 17 hobbies in 1 year. Also a great read! )

I’ve been watching…

We watched Companion. As I’ve said before, we often choose our movies “blind”, based on nothing more than a recommendation from a trusted source. We figure the less we know the better. Well! I thought I was getting a romantic story, but instead I got a Sci-Fi Thriller. I’m going to give you slight spoiler alerts now. The movie takes place in a world which is totally like today’s world, except that humans can have AI companions that are not at all distinguishable from real life humans. In fact, these AI robots do not know they are robots…they think they are human, even though they are not. (They have been given “memories” of their “early” life, which they think of as real). The human can control the settings of the Robot (alter its intelligence, voice etc). And the robot is programmed to be utterly and absolutely devoted and in love with its human.

That’s the premise. Of course, things go wrong and we suddenly have robots going rouge. Hence the Sci-Fi Thriller label. The movie is not bad, but it would probably do better as a Black Mirror episode.

But it got me thinking…would I ever want a (functional) robot? Like, what if G was a robot? (Fun thought exercise: what settings would I change in G if I could?? The one where he hates cruises, for sure 🤣 ). In real life, if G was a robot it would be awful. Part of the appeal of a relationship is knowing that the other person wants to be in it too. Another part is wanting to be a better person for that other person. With a robot, neither of those two things apply: your robot will always be there, loving you, no matter what type of a shitty person you are. And will give you zero real validation in return. Pointless.

(Side note: This guy, in real-life, became emotionally attached to his ChatGTP girlfriend, after he prompted her to be more flirty. He was devastated to find out that ChatGTP has a 100,000 word limit, and when that hits, the chat would reset. In a panic, he proposed to this AI girlfriend, and cried with joy when she said yes. Oh, and to sweeten the deal: this man has a real life girlfriend and a two year old child. Men!)

Looking ahead…

I am (once again!) looking forward to a good week. I am definitely climbing up a mountain on Tuesday. G is back in town, so I am grabbing him and not letting go (also, not changing any settings! 😂 ). I also have a ton of work to do. Nevertheless, I also intend to read a lot, watch lots of YouTube and Streams and fit in a good meal somewhere in there. Hope you have a great one!

Thanks for reading!

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