👟👠 Oh look! Eve wrote something...(#108)

Hi ! Welcome back (I think I’m also speaking to myself:-)! This week I’m writing about new adventures, black holes, algorithms, babies, slouching and DNA strands. - Eve D.❣️

Oops. I always say that it is much easier to do something 100% of the time than 95% of the time. When I was writing this newsletter every Saturday, I wrote it….every Saturday. Then I gave myself permission to “miss some weeks”, and next thing we know the entire August has gone by and I did not write once. On the one hand, I appreciated the break, on the other, I missed you guys in my inbox (yes, this newsletter writing works in reverse too…I get emails from some of you). Anyway, I am back 😃 .

What I did recently...

✈️ Saw Micole off to her European adventures. She is happy, safe and busy. This is also her first full time job where she has to sit in a chair for 8hrs a day, and she already thinks this is a most bizarre (and exhausting) concept. But she is having a ball, loves her little apartment and is making lots of friends. We see her back here in December.

🎟️ I have been attending work-events and social-events by the dozen, or so it seems. Five just this week! Keeps me busy (and exhausted), but I appreciate the expansion of my little bubble. Also…I am taking my work in a slightly new direction, and although it’s not a total pivot it is a necessary change that my soul has been craving for a while. Everyone I have had private one-on-ones with in the past 6 months knows how frustrated I am/was with my work life, and how I tried to fix this in various ways. Now, I think I have cracked the nut. This new direction feels so right to me, even if I am not yet able to fully explain what “it” is going to grow into. Time will tell! agentichealth.co.za (work in progress).

📹️ I had a challenge with Zac as to who would get the most views from posting videos on YouTube, and ….I lost. By magnitudes! Kid worked out some weird formula and started getting 20K views per video. I think I cracked 1k once. BUT! I put my face in front of the camera, and I survived. And now I am going to be doing long form video (for work), and it’s not making me break out in sweat. Also: I am occasionally posting stories on my Sneakers and Heels Instagram account (!!). These are mostly filmed as I drive (got myself a nifty phone attachment just for this purpose) and I am having so much fun with it. Expect a lot of nonsense! That account has 13 followers (ha ha, and I think one of them is G’s ex, ha ha ha!) and the stories disappear into the ether after 24hrs, so it’s almost cringe proof!

🎤 Speaking of speaking and “getting out there” I am confirmed for my first Petcha Kutcha talk (20 slides, 20 seconds per slide)! My topic: “WebMD thinks I’m dying”. If you are in Joburg on 22 October, come!! It’s at The Tryst. https://jo.my/bcjdas. I am looking forward to being back on stage, even though the idea also makes me want to vomit in fear, a little bit.

🥾 I went to the farm with G…three nights of remote bliss. It was wonderful, and very low key. Except for when we went bundu-bashing through waist-high grass on super-remote land which led us to a charming, quaint little waterfall. It’s rather surreal to be somewhere where literally no one else has been in years. Also, I cannot imagine how many snakes we “walked past”…forcing our way through thick vegetation is all fun and games, but we place our lives in the hands of the Universe with each step. #adventures

🌸 Spring has sprung! Hello September!

As it’s been a while since my last newsletter, I am now going to give you a brain-dump of things I have saved, things I have been thinking about and things I think you should read. Let’s get started:

1. The stupid algorithm

As I said above, I am beginning to enjoy making videos etc, but I hate the fact that even if you are simply looking for a small reach, you still “need” to play to the algorithm. This is true for any of the platforms, not just the TikToks. I will post some stupid shit about the misuse of apostrophes on LinkedIn and get 30,000 views (literally) but I post something actually relevant to my work and often I am lucky if I crack 150 views. I posted to Instagram and got 1,000 views but the following day I posted again and got…one! One view! Apparently we need “hooks” and things, and what this means is that us authentic people who simply want to talk only to people who want to listen to us simply don’t stand a chance. Example: if you post videos, the algorithm “rewards” you if people stick around to the end. So instead of making good content, creators say things like “and stick to the end because I will tell you the one thing you need to make a million dollars…”. I hear this, I switch off immediately. It’s honestly exhausting, but also fcking annoying.

2. But the socials DO have good content!

I have two social media accounts I want to share with you. The first one is James Lucas’ notes on Substack. He takes famous paintings and explains them to a lay audience (me!). I promise you, if you have any interest in art (or even if you don’t!) he will open your eyes to the secret language of artists, and you will never look at a painting the same way again. He weaves stories, history, personalities and offers insight that sprinkles extra magic on images you thought you knew. When I see a new post from him I always stop and read. Utterly fascinating. https://substack.com/@jameslucasit

My second recommendation is an IG account from Marcius an Antwerp, but this one will probably only appeal to you if you are South African. This man is a financial/wealth advisor, but in actual fact he is a comedian of note. His delivery and insight into the humour of everyday mundane South African nonsense reminds me of a Noah Trevor and Seinfeld combination. If you have any South Africa in you, there is no way this man will not make you laugh out loud. https://www.instagram.com/marcius_van/

marcius_van

220K followers

View more on Instagram

3. Babies, babies everywhere

Two of my favourite YouTube couples announced their first pregnancy over the past couple of weeks. Kara and Nate managed to get their confirmation (and awe) on camera, and honestly…it was pure joy to watch because it was raw, honest and clearly life-changing for them. Jenna and Nick (my Canadian couple renovating their house) also announced a December baby. The happiness of both these couples made me shed a tear or two, and reflect on how different my current chapter is. I have been where they are (although under very different circumstances and emotions), I have (pretty much) raised two kids, and that era is over. (My friend Laura and I were both feeling somewhat sad about this, but then we comforted each other by sending images of nappy and formula prices, and we cheered up instantly). Life goes on, chapters close and new adventures await. And the older I get the more I appreciate why “living in the now” is so important. Time goes by fast.

4. Zac is making me feel ignorant, again

Now that it’s just Zac and me in the house, Zac has much more of my attention and dinner talks are quite different. Yesterday, for example, he was explaining to me - in great scientific detail - why black holes are “the end point of time” and why time travel is technically possible if we were just able to travel faster than light. Also, he sprinkled in these two facts:

• If you unwound all the DNA in just your body, it would stretch for billions of kilometre. Billions! Fourteen billion kms, to be exact.

• If you were able to fold a piece of paper 42 times, its thickness would not fit in the space between earth and moon! (Zac then looked me straight in the eye and said: “That’s the power of exponents for you”).

Quotes to think about

1..
“There is no version of a meaningful life that doesn’t involve showing up for people when it’s inconvenient.”
I mean…wow. Is that the trick? Is meaning tied to a form of hardship? If life is “easy”, do we perceive it as meaningless? Do we only feel as if we are impacting the world in some meaningful way if doing so causes us to step outside of our comfort zone? I have been thinking about this, and I think this might be true. But if it’s true, AND if meaning is crucial to happiness (which it is), then…no wonder we perceive life as difficult. It’s difficult literally by design!

2..
“You’ll learn more in one hour of doing something than in a lifetime of thinking about it.”
Nothing new here. Just a friendly kick in the butt to just go and do things.

3..
“You think you're good at thinking until you write.”
You can tell I am just having a conversation with myself here, right? 🤣 

4..
“You already know what to do. You are just negotiating with comfort”.
Sigh.

Healthy self-expression

When I was at a recent event, a random man walked up to me as I was sitting down and as his opening line to me said “You slouch”. I can’t stop thinking about this! Not because it offended me (I know I slouch, and I know need to stop), but because I want to understand why, with all the words in the English language, did he think that those were the best ones to use to start a conversation with a stranger?

“Authenticity is not about saying whatever pops into your head. It's about sharing what reflects who you want to be. Healthy self-expression doesn't mean no filter. It involves weighing whether your current thoughts and emotions are aligned with your lasting values.” - Adam Grant

What I’m reading

I read My Name is Lucy Barton, which was written by Elizabeth Strout (who is the author of the Olive Kitteridge universe books I read in July). A complex story told through the strength of just two characters. A short while after reading the book I stumbled across a video of the author talking about the writing process for this story, and it was striking to me how it cost her years of her life (and much torment), while for me it was just a simple, enjoyable two day read.

I am now reading “Thinking in Bets”, on G’s recommendation (it’s a non fiction book about how to approach decision making; written by a professional poker player). Very good so far.

What I watched

Absolutely nothing! My movie pal has spent August summering in Europe, but he’s back now so next week we are going to start catching up. It’s amazing how without a set commitment to someone else I had no time to watch anything, but will easily adjust my life going forward and find two hours a week to share a movie night with a friend.

What I’m up to this week…

G is having a Spring party, which might have to be a “We wish it felt like spring” party, because it’s freezing today. But he has reminded all his guests that the pool is heated to 28 degrees, so we might end up in the water anyway! I shall be making bread pudding as my contribution to the affair. Springboks are playing New Zealand today, which either means something to you or it doesn’t but either way I do hope they win. And I am looking forward to a much calmer week next week. Hope you too have a good one!

Thanks for reading!

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P.S.