Hi ! Welcome back. It’s August! No, really! The end of the year is around the corner. This week I am thinking and writing about online shopping, authentic bodies, options, life hacks, near-naked men, weekend reads, my current favourite song and conversations with Zac - Eve D.❣️

Week in review…

😍 My week started on a major high. I had an amazing, decadent weekend with G filled with all the things I love the most: good food, good conversation and champagne (by the bottle). 

🌩️ Then the week’s energy took a weird turn, and (once again) not just for me. Everywhere I turned, everyone was having a shit time. (You?) Look, there is no lack of reasons why we should be feeling generally shit, even if we can’t pinpoint why. Just open any news site. So maybe that’s it. Or maybe Mercury was in the wrong place, or maybe it’s the weather, or the fact that it’s already August, or because we are all simply bloody tired. Any of those works, so take your pick. 

💼 In the meantime, Micole had her first in-person interview! we went clothes shopping (an urgh from me, but pure joy for her. She could walk a mall forever). She said the interview didn’t go well (see above), but to be fair, she says that about everything that she does, and nevertheless she’s doing just fine. Either way, I was very proud of her and am enjoying her entering adulthood. (Shame, etc.). 

🥾 When I had a desperate need to escape the world I …went on a solo hike, up and down a mountain, and then up and down a mountain again. It wasn’t particularly far, but it took almost 3 hours. I started early in the morning, and it was freezing (literally). As a result, I did not see another soul and owned the whole mountain for the day. I talked to myself, mostly in my head but also out loud, sometimes, because why not? I listened to music, but also turned it off for times and just enjoyed the sound of my feet on the ground. Point is: it was a therapeutic, mindful and much needed morning. I hope I find the time to do more of them. (Sidenote: I tell you about my hikes every week not to tell you that I hike, but to tell you that it really is the best form of free therapy we have. I encourage you to try and walk, if you don’t yet. It’s life and mood changing).

☕️ I connected with friends and family, over coffees, phones and Zoom. I am far from alone. (Except, that ultimately we all are). 

😍 I spent extra time with Zac this week. We went out for lazy lunches, gymmed, cooked dinners, and talked a lot. That kid can talk about 1,001 things, and every time I learn something. This week he told me: about Vasily Arkhipov, who saved the world from nuclear annihilation during the cold war but whose name nobody knows; why Homo Sapiens prevailed over Neanderthals (ironically it was because we were weaker than them, and had to get innovative); why “alien AI” is going to probably be the death of us all (not fun); the concept of “AI smarter than any one person” vs “AI smarter than all of humanity combined”; how China owns the EV car battery market and why I should definitely buy a Chinese car next and how YouTuber Ryan Trahan raised $11 million+ for charity. And that was all pretty much during one meal. Life with that kid is never boring. 

🛍️ I was sucked into Temu by an Instagram ad, and spent hours adding a lot of products to my cart. When I saw the total, I was flabbergasted how low it was. I had the distinct feeling that I was going to end up with junk. I put the iPad away, and talked to G who said “if you don’t need it, don’t buy it”, and he was right, so I didn’t. But now…I want that stuff so am very torn. (I hear that France has banned Temu and Shein which I actually find worrying: I don’t like the idea that governments can tell me which companies I can and cannot buy from.)

Food for thought:

Happy Endings

If you’ve been reading this newsletter for a while you know I am huge fan of Paulina Parizkova, and especially her journey over the last five years. I’ve always felt that she was extremely beautiful, but also very open and authentic about how much work it takes to “look good”. I was thrilled/relieved to see she posted these two photos on Instagram. On the left is a posed, filtered, set up shot and on the right is me on a good day. Seriously, this discrepancy is worth remembering next time you look in the mirror and feel tempted to groan!

And I also squealed with joy when I saw that she was engaged! I am so happy for her. She deserves happiness, and I am happy she found it. We never know what life has in store for us 😍.

Options and Rawdogging

Something I learnt about myself recently: I need options to not feel limited (or bored), but I will rarely exercise them, and end up being “bored” anyway and loving it. Here is an example: (Sidenote: hating to be bored this is a very unhealthy trait, as I’ve mentioned before. The ability to enjoy being bored is a hack on its own, and one that should be cultivated)

I hate the idea of being bored so much, that I will not go into the gym sauna unless I have something to read. The times I forget to bring an actual physical book or magazine (obviously can’t take my phone into the sauna), my time in the sauna is torture. But … the times I do bring reading material I rarely use it. I just need to know that I have the option to read something if I want to. Knowing that it is my choice to simply do nothing but relax and think, that’s exactly what I end up doing. I’m the same on planes. You know that recent “Rawdogging” TikTok trend where you are challenged to fly without any form of entertainment as a distraction? I do that almost every time I fly and always have… but if you check my hand luggage I have every distraction under the sun: books, movies, magazines, work, knitting (back when this was allowed), podcasts, colouring books, and much more. I rarely touch it, and prefer to just chill.

Life Hack

Here’s a life hack: Get your kids, partners, colleagues or whoever bothers you endlessly to think of three fixes before they come and ask you for help. And when they ask for that help, they have to mention what those three fixes were. Examples: 

• “Mom, where are the kitchen scissors? I checked in the drawers, on the dining room table and in the dishwasher”

• “Mom, how do you make French Toast? I googled, read a recipe book and asked dad”

• “Mom, what time is tennis practice? I checked my whatsapps, the fridge schedule and asked Josh”

Chances are high that by the time anybody forces themselves to go through 3 fixes, they will find their own solution to the problem, and won’t bug you. As a bonus, this teaches the value of applied problem solving, and creativity. And if you do it for yourself, you’ll also just get shit done faster. As an extra bonus, this is also a great way to interact with your boss/mentor. Ask them for help when you need it, but also show them that you really did try to be proactive about finding the solution before bothering them. They’ll appreciate it.

Near-naked men in the house… 

Laura and I went out for coffee, and we labelled it The Bitching Session even before we decided on the venue. We spent two hours complaining about everything, and then within minutes we were giggling and howling like a bunch of teenage girls on Spring break. The reason? I mentioned I was watching Shameless, and said that there is a random guy who is in it who is not conventionally good looking at all, but who has such sex appeal that I am drooling. And she gasped, and said, “That’s not a random guy. That’s Jeremy Allen White, from The Bear!!”.

She confirmed he is divine and pulled out her phone to show me this picture below (the speed with which she did this makes me think it’s saved in her “Favourites” folder) and my jaw was on the floor, and her jaw was on the floor, and then we just burst out in uncontrollable laughter. She said she already told her husband that Jeremy is her “free pass”, and if he ever comes knocking, she’s opening the door. (Who’s yours?? Mine: I’ll take Jeremy, but also Matt Damon, Daniel Craig or Steve Carell (but only the Four Seasons version of him)). I don’t know what makes Jeremy so appealing, but I feel we all need a bit of him and his gorgeous eyes, so I am recommending Shameless or The Bear as a pick-you-up. (After weeks of promises to myself to watch The Bear, I am now definitely going to do it this weekend. Obviously!)

Swiftie in the house…

I’m obsessed with Taylor Swift’s “I hate it here”, but it has to be the live from Cardiff version. The chorus is gold (especially the one  at 3:45):

I hate it here so I will go to
secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine

Those lyrics are genius, and I feel heard.

Weekend Reading: 

✅ I was still interested to read this piece by Amie Mcnee who went on to one of the most popular podcasts in the world (Jay Shetty) and spoke about her new book to literally hundreds of thousands of people, and did not sell one extra copy. In fact, in the week of the podcast episode launch she sold less books than in the week prior. ”Creatives need to stop looking outside of ourselves to further our careers. The calvary isn’t coming.” Read (free). 

✅ If you have old stuff in your basement, attic or under your bed and are holding on to it because “it might be worth something”, you should read this piece which will explain the error of your ways, and help you get rid of your items, and quickly. (This is my version of Asking for a friend). Read (free for 2 weeks). 

I’ve been watching…

We watched “As Good As it Gets”. I chose it because I am one of those people who can never quote a line from any movie (poem, book, song or anything really). But I saw this movie in 1998 and one line has stayed with me for all those years …Jack Nicolson telling Helen Hunt “You make me want to be a better man”. That line floored me then, and it floored me again on Wednesday night. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it during my Thursday hike. Betterment is my life-theme. It’s literally the subtitle of the book I am writing (it’s coming, it’s coming. Stop pressuring!) and it’s something I talk about with my friends and G often. I think it’s interesting, but not very surprising, that I randomly chose this movie this week. I needed to see it, and I am glad I did. 

As for the movie itself…it’s great. Nicolson is the GOAT, and Helen Hunt one of my favourite actresses. The ending sucks and doesn’t make sense, but is easy to forgive. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and if you want to watch good acting, a fun and interesting storyline, I do recommend.

Looking ahead…

More of the same more of the same. I made great headways at work this week, and I am carrying that into next week. I am hoping for warmer weather, an even longer hike, and a catch up with friends.

Thanks for reading!

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