👟👠 October Musings...(#109)

Hi ! It’s October, no jokes. This week I’m writing about sleeping under the stars, brave sons, lots of books, lots of shows, secret libraries and #allmen. - Eve D.❣️

What I did recently...

Spring is in the air, but we’ve also had a lot (LOT!) of rain. The substation in my town caught fire during a thunder storm and we had intermittent power for 4 days. Annoying. But the sun is back to shining. I’m going to wear more hats:

🔥 G and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary! 😆 It’s been fun.

🐆 Went back to G’s farm, but just for one day! And not even a whole day, more like 22 hours. And given that takes about 5-6hrs to get there, that’s quite a commitment. This time, I also dragged Zac along (see below).

🍻 Took Zac and his friend out to the local Oktoberfest (yes, in September) and the verdict is: eisbeihn is delicious, but if you don’t want to drink and drive then the Oktoberfest is probably not the best way to spend a Friday night.

🥄 After years of threatening to do just this, I am now officially supplementing my life. Creatine, collagen, protein are my new friends. I shall report back in 3 months to tell you how glorious I feel about myself.

👩‍🍳 For various logistical reasons I haven’t had to cook dinner for over a week, and let me tell you…this is the dream. (Also, as I am slowly entertaining options for my “empty nesting” phase (no dinners!), I am exploring new housing options. I’m dreaming big 🤣. I want space, and trees, and ocean. Maybe. But the prices in the Western Cape are out of whack. I saw a decent enough new development listed, which I thought would be in the R8-10m range, and it was THIRTY EIGHT. Million. I don’t think not-buying-avo-toast is going to help me here).

🇵🇱 Micole is living her best life in Poland. Last night she went to a soccer match (Poland beat Romania 6-0, so not a bad game to watch!).

😢 We’ve just wrapped up our last public holiday of the year (the ones in December don’t count, obviously). This makes me immensely sad because public holidays just hit different, you know? They are stolen days that have a unique energy that cannot be replicated during a weekend. I find that those are the days that I really and truly rest my brain. From now on it’s just going to be hard slog until the December holidays. But not for Lisa:

A changed man!

If you had asked me last week to tell you about Zac, one of the things I’d have said is that Zac hates the African bush. This is a result of a rather unfortunate incident a couple of years ago when my sister invited my kids “out for a treat”, which Zac interpreted as “We are going to eat good food, and soon”. Unfortunately for him, instead of being taken out to eat he was taken out on a local game drive where he spent 5hr+ trying to spot wild game and birds. He was mentally unprepared for spending all this time in silence, while hungry, and bored out of his mind (his words). He was furious with the whole situation and has proper PTSD anytime he is reminded of this experience. 

So you can imagine that when I told him that he is joining G and me on an impromptu visit to his African farm, Zac resisted with all his might. It didn’t help, which is how he ended up in the back seat of a 4x4, this past Saturday. And guess what? The kid had a blast. “I’m a changed man” he announced to us. He was enthralled by the farm, took 300 photos (literally) and went off on mini solo-walks voluntarily.

As for me: I had a blast too! And for the first time ever, I slept outside, under the stars, on a stretcher, by myself, no tent! G and Zac were in the rondavel (G would have joined me outside, but he had to look after the dogs who have to sleep inside for safety). There are 3 dangers with sleeping outside: a snake can bite you (bad, bad news), a leopard can eat you (equally bad) and a hyena or jackal can attack you (I forget which, but either way…not great). I was assured by G that all of these were unlikely, but also not zero-chance. It obviously all worked out fine, I adored sleeping with a breeze over my face throughout the whole night, although I did wake up at about 4am and decided I was nuts for risking my life. Oh well.

It’s enough now!

We lose 4 women to a murder every day in my country, and now we might have a serial killer on the loose (nine women’s bodies have recently been found within a small area). And then Cornell. It’s fucking scary and depressing. I’ve realised I know two types of men, and they each fall into their type easily and predictably: those who would share a sexist, objectifying and maybe degrading joke/photo of a woman amongst themselves, and those who would die of shame if they were in the vicinity of such content. And all these men are seemingly “good men.” So #allmen should ask themselves in which group they belong, and then check how they feel about that. But I’m getting tired of the shit, and I know which group I want my Zac to fall into. As a mother of a 15yr old boy, I now understand more than ever the responsibility of teaching young men the absolute sanctity of women. Frankly…it starts with the dads. Superb role models of men who treat women with the respect we deserve: Keanu Reeves and Tom Holland. If you know, you know.

Hey! Check this out:

1️⃣ My Instagram follow suggestion this week is for @creative_explained (10.2 million followers). He does short, highly energetic and very fun reels, where he teaches you hacks around the house and around the garden. They work. I am growing my own ginger, and next time I cut onion I am wetting a paper towel and putting it on the table so I don’t cry. (Why is this not public knowledge?)

2️⃣ Have you heard of The Future Library Project? In 2004 Katie Patterson planted 1000 trees in Norway, and is asking 100 writers to contribute one secret book (over the next 100 years) to the project. These books have never been read by anyone, and are being collected in a secret vault. In 2114, the 1000 trees will be felled, and the pulp will be used to print the 100 books, and sell them to 1000 people (you can pre-buy these books now for about £800, although it is unlikely you will be around to read them!). Super famous authors are participating (Margaret Atwood contributed the first book). To be honest, I am unsure how I feel about this. On the one hand: what an interesting premise! What is the state of books/reading going to be like in 100 years? On the other hand, given that there are willing readers now, why limit our access to the books? What is the point? (I am assuming that the books will have a wider print run than just the 1000 pre-purchases, otherwise I would hate the entire project).

3️⃣ I was gobsmacked to read this essay, The Final Lap, or What It's Like to Be 89 . Written by Lloyd Khan, he reflects on his life, and the changes that aging forces onto the body (he has, finally, given up surfing!). He also talks about his plans for his last decade. This man has more vitality, and more structure for his time at 89 than I have at 53! If I was 89, I imagine I’d be literally planning my quiet end-days. He, on the other hand, is planning the multiple books he will still write and the Youtube videos he will film!

Can I have some more?

I’m almost ashamed to say this out loud, but I am rather bored with my life right now. For the last six months or so I have thoroughly enjoyed the steady rhythm of just getting on with things, and have appreciated the lack of drama or trauma. There is a lot to be said for a life that just ticks along, that allows for a good night of sleep and total predicability.

But now, I find that I am doing the same things, hanging out with the same people and having the same conversations over and over again. (Of course, this could just be a definition of adulthood, too). To be clear, I am not complaining about work here…this is my life outside of work. Maybe all this is compounded by the fact that Micole is living her best life in Poland right now (I’m loving watching it from the sidelines), and I am now slightly missing my carefree twenty-something life that was just full of possibility and very few constraints. (Damn it, I knew adulthood had something to do with all this).

There are two issues here: 1) life is not handing me shit, so it’s rather calm. I am well aware this cannot last, and that I will long for these gentle days. So I am doing my best to enjoy them. 2) I can of course add my own excitement to life, at any time. Set a challenge, find myself a project, etc etc. The paradox is that on most days I do not want to do more things. And I do not want to meet new people. This is unfortunate! The one dubious positive is that most people I talk to feel the same way: in theory they want to be doing more things with more people, but they also shudder at the idea of having to leave the house to do them.

Anyway: I need to shake things up a bit. For now, I am open to considering new ideas.

Huh! Huh! Huh?

I don’t know how things are where you live, but where I live Christmas season arrived in September. September! There is now still a whole October and November we have to get through. Also: I am resisting even stepping a foot in these shops. I have enough Christmas stuff, thank you very much, but also: there is no such thing as enough Christmas stuff. The bigger issue is that Christmas will be very different this year for us, and we might not even be at home to celebrate it. So I am not buying anything. Promise. No, really.

Can’t wait for this…

Have you seen the new trailer for “You can see everything”???!!!!! It’s a documentary about Elizabeth Holmes, from the Theranos defrauding case (quick recap: she lied and defrauded investors of $$millions by scheming and lying, and pretending that she had invented a way for machines to diagnose all illnesses from a single drop of blood. Or something like that.)

Anyway, Nathan Fielder was invited by Holmes to document the 34 days prior to her going off too prison for 11 years. The trailer is wild! I have always been fascinated by Holmes because I think her brain does not work like yours and mine. She has no remorse, no reality checks…basically a psychopath, as you can probably see from the trailer’s opening scene. This is unscripted, real-life batshit crazy level of stuff. It comes out mid October, and I’ll be first in line to watch.

(By the way: I heard today that her 11 yr sentence has been reduced to an effective 3 yrs, after which she will be entering a halfway house. Pisses me off).

Awkward people are people too…

I saw this on a social media post:

Me! That’s me! I feel awkward all the time when in the presence of people who are not my people, and I don’t even know how to start faking: I’m afraid what I am is what you get. But it does annoy me that some people are so effortless in social situations, whereas for me it can be a struggle to appear …well, to appear happy to be there is probably the best way to put it. But it has not been lost on me that people who seem to always be bubbly and cutesy and oh-so-social are not any of those things in real life…and frankly, they must be exhausted from putting on a show at all times, no?

Anyway, from now I will remind myself that awkward people are probably the best type of people because they refuse to adjust their persona to suit the room. Authenticity for the win, everyday.

No, really

The two blocks within the red circles are pretty much the same colour.

 What I’m reading

Oooh…I’ve been reading a lot, and some/most of it has been trivial crap. I will not apologise! Some of what I read:

• The Love Hypothesis (a silly, silly romance which I see has also been made into a movie on Prime, which I shall watch next week).

• This book made me think of you which is also a love story, but a different, more gentle one. Five months after her husband Joe passed away from cancer, Tilly receives a call from her local bookshop: Joe had pre-selected 12 books for her to open over the next 12 months and she should come in to pick up the first one. The book then takes us through the next 12 months and, as Tilly uses the chosen books to deal with grief and growth.

• 84 Charring Cross Road. Oh my!!! So special. This book is a compilation of letters between a New York City reader and a bookseller for a second hand bookshop set at the titular address. The letters start in 1949, and span twenty years of correspondence, which starts out as a business transaction but turns into a real friendship. I didn’t know all the letters and the story they tell were real until I finished the book! If you read it you will appreciate the slow pace of life pre-Internet, and the immense level of trust people had in each other. Those were the days. I see there is a movie based on the book. Maybe I’ll watch it!

I am now reading The Calamity Club which seems to be on everyone’s must-read list for this year. It’s a hefty book, and I’m reading it slowly, and enjoying it immensely. I will write more about it when I am done.

What I watched..

I’m beginning to see where my time goes, because not only have I been reading a lot I have also been watching a lot.

🎥 The Invite. Oh my, my, my!! I had been waiting for this forever. It stars Olivia Wilde, Ed Norton, Seth Rogers and Penelope Cruz (and those are the only characters who appear in the movie). One couple invites the other for dinner. A conversation happens. That’s the whole movie! Do not watch any trailers. Just go in expecting brilliant dialogue, acting and unexpected plot twists.

🎥 Marty Supreme. Made waves last year but my movie-buddy summed it up well: “we’ve just spent 2.5 hours with an asshole”. Accurate. Brilliant acting and scripting, but the movie is relentless, and does not pause. The best part: Kevin O’Leary (Mr Wonderful from Shark Tank of all places!!!) has a major role. Given that this is his first acting role, I thought he was superb.  

🎥 Steel Magnolias: We watched this in tribute to Dolly Parton.  A wonderful classic, with an unbelievable cast. This movie premiered a year before Pretty Woman, but wasn’t Julia Robert’s breakout role. That was Mystic Pizza (filed under: things I learn when I Google movies I just watched).

🎥 Ted Lasso: I got myself a month or two of Apple TV, and immediately binge watched all the available episodes of Ted Lasso Season 4. Wonderful! And I have an arm-long list of recommendations of what else to watch on there, so this could be quite a time-costly purchase.

🎥 Pressure: A World War II movie (clearly not my choice!) but utterly watchable. It stars Brandon Fraser as Eisenhower (what a comeback era for him!) and focusses on a battle not between soldiers but between two meteorologists arguing about the ideal date to launch D-Day. It sounds silly, but the correct weather predictions and consequent decisions are a good reason why we are not all goose-stepping today! I recommend this movie highly.

What I’m up to this week/month…

Lots and lots of work. That’s honestly most of it. Deep breaths and last push for the year.

Thanks for reading!

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