Hi ! September is almost done, and next time we chat I might have a new favourite Taylor Swift song! This week I am thinking and writing about fun times with friends, Formula 1, burnout, birds, the joy of South Africa and the importance of taking notes about your life and relationships - Eve D.❣️

Week in review…

🥳 On Saturday we went to G‘s neighbour’s party, and had a ball. Met two fabulous ladies, and spent most of the evening exchanging life stories and howling with laughter (and admiration). The coolest thing about this little gathering was that a large chunk of guests live within one or two blocks of each other, and have done so for decades! They know each others’ children, life stories, deceased parents and dirty little secrets. There is much shared history among them, and I am genuinely envious. I am somewhat desperate for this kind of village. Bonus: During the evening’s shenanigans it was decided that G would throw his own party to meet even more of his neighbours, and I am oh-so-very-much looking forward to this.

🏎️ Watched F1 with G. I’ve watched before, but with only one eye open. This time G explained the nuances to me and I actually understood what was going on. It was exciting, but also - as G pointed out - at the end of the day we were just watching some very rich people driving some very expensive cars, very fast. Pretty much sums it up, but I will still be eager to watch the next race because now I want to see how the season unfolds. Also found out there is a Netflix documentary, Drive to Survive, that introduces the key drivers, teams and managers for the Season. I’d be interested to watch this, but can’t see it happening before December break.

📆 As expected, I loved my Wednesday public holiday. Something hits different about a day in the middle of the week that is a “closed for business” day, but during which I still voluntarily spent a large portion of at the computer. I got so much stuff done, and still managed to relax and spend a couple hours watching Zac play tennis at the club. He also did some indoor rock climbing earlier in the week, so some fun novelty for him.

🛍️ And the fun wasn’t over! On Friday my friend Laura and I went to a high-end, curated market, and I was once again reminded why I prefer this type of shopping versus the cold auras of shopping malls. We both tried very hard not to spend too much money, but I still walked away with novelties for the kids, stationery, new earrings and another notebook. Big bonus was the great conversation Laura and I had over lunch. It gave me so much clarity and acceptance about my life, and the direction it needs to go (nothing drastic, but I do need to stop running away from what I want, and should run towards it instead) and she also made me laugh which is a gift I will gladly receive.

🥾 I still have not hiked since my Dome Pools hike with G, which was 3 weeks ago. I need to get back to walking quickly, or I will never hike again. I read somewhere that burnout is tied to feeling the task at hand is too difficult to be accomplished successfully, and I think that’s what happened to me: I thought I was an okay hiker, and I realised I was a pathetic hiker. I was massively disappointed, and a bit embarrassed. I am now focussing on more cardio at the gym (stairmaster) and am finding it immensely difficult and exhausting (just like my Dome Pools hike!). So I know what I need to do, and to my credit I am doing it. Slowly.

Food for thought:

Odds and ends…

1..Birds

I know nothing about birds (my sister’s boyfriend and my boyfriend can both identify any bird from its song, so maybe it’s a male thing?) but I do enjoy the peace of sitting in a garden and watching/listening to them frolic. Birds are smart, and they have a sense of humour. I thought this was poignant:

But then I remembered this, below, and I laughed out loud (again):

2.. In search of pockets of beauty

I’m really saddened by the relentless construction happening in the suburbs of where I live. Beautiful houses are being torn down to put up “multi-family” units …this wouldn’t be so bad if those units weren’t so flipping ugly and depressing. They have no soul, and I hate them. I will not ever live in something like this, God willing. I need texture, and colour, and greenery, and visual points of interest. And space! (I remember a friend of mine once rented a house where the bedrooms were so small the door wouldn’t close with a bed inside!). (Side, but relevant, note: unfortunately, as the beauty dives, the prices soar! I honestly have no idea how our kids are supposed to be able to afford a family house one day).

3.. Our own small corners of the world

This is funny because it’s accurate. I don’t know what’s going on with Belgium 😂 .

I’m trying to decide what the image would be for South Africa…I think we would (start with a problem), then arrow into a (Commission of Enquiry) and then arrow into a (BIGGER problem, no Solutions). OR We would (start with a problem) arrow into (government makes it worse) arrow into (private sector makes it better). Sums it up.

Having said that, I do want to say this: As someone with a very versatile passport, I have never been happier to be sitting in South Africa than I am right now. Sure, we have our problems and it’s not as if we are immune from the ripples of what is happening Over There, but still….it seems we are as far removed from the craziness as possible, and our little bubble of problems is our bubble of problems. And we know how to handle problems: we braai, we win at rugby and we smile at strangers in the streets. We’re lekker like that.

4.. The games we play

Kids and I are still playing our daily New York Times Games (Wordle, Connection, Mini, Pips, Strands). Strands is a type of word maze game where you are given the letter board and a general topic, but no words. You have to find the words yourself; they all have a common theme. This week, the board spelled “Micole”, and since she never sees her unusual name in the wild, she insists I include this in my newsletter. So here you go: (can you spot it?)

(If you want to play the game: find 7 words above, all loosely connected by the theme “Find an opening”. Hint: There is also a phrase (Spangram) which is the axis of the puzzle and starts on one edge and touches another. Usually you have to find it on your own, but I’ll give it to you today: it’s “Mind the Gap” (can you see it?). The 7 words are now around it)

We need to roar louder…

A woman gives birth on the sidewalk, with no pain meds or any other medical intervention, and the father is deemed the “hero of the day”. WT actual F?

Related:

Shower Thoughts: 

🚿 The phrase “where are you” only became relevant when cell phones became mainstream. Think about it! (wild, no?)

Take more photos, and share them…

I should take my own advice:

It’s really a good idea to document your life, through photos, journal entires, videos or even just simple Whatsapp messages. I promise you, you will never regret having too much access to memories. I was reminded of this when Micole showed me a video she took of Zac and me when we were in Cape Town 5 years ago. Zac - who is now taller than me - was just a little, tiny 9 year old kid and I cannot believe how much he has changed in just 5 years. It made me visibly sad that time is running so fast.

And then this evening, as I was writing this newsletter I looked for a specific image G sent me, eons ago (it was the one of the bird eating other birds, see above 😄 ) and I went into our Whatsapp images. We have 964 images and links we’ve shared, going back over a year, and together they are such a brilliant compilation of our relationship, but also a fabulous snapshot of who we as individuals and why we work so well together. Lots of inside jokes, lots of shared news, lots of us trying to help each other be better humans… Of course this isn’t just true for G and I. It’s true for anybody I have a robust Whatsapp relationship with (you should see my family group!). I have my full Whatsapp history with my mom (but none with my dad), and it’s good to know that archives of our interactions exist.

This, by the way, is a prominent reason for why I write this newsletter. Sure, I am sharing it with my small audience and enjoy the weekly interaction with my readers, but the real value is that it’s an honest and permanent snapshot of my life as I perceive it today, and I already appreciate being able to look back at past editions and reminisce. And hopefully my kids will have some sort of access to it forever when I’m gone (although digital archives are tricky, I know). Even my grandkids could have deep insight into who their grandmother was in her 50s…something I have no idea about my grandparents at all. Point is: make memories, share them. You’ll be glad you did.

I’ve been watching…

For my weekly movie date I watched, K-pop Demon Hunters which is a Korean animated film that follows a girl’s pop band as they sing their way to people’s hearts while secretly keeping the world safe from Demons. It’s the most watched original movie on Netflix. People are raving about it, but I found the movie to be good but not that great. I’ve certainly seen other animated movies that I thought were better. I was a bit disappointed, to be honest - which once again reminds me to ignore reviews and set my own expectations. I certainly do not not recommend it - watch it if you feel drawn to it. But I wouldn’t watch it again, if that helps.

I also watched, on a whim, the first episode of Fame! Did you ever watch it when you were a kid? I was obsessed. I was only 9 when this episode came out in 1982, although that was the year we arrived in South Africa and I couldn’t speak any English, so I am pretty sure we only got it here many years later. I remember the cast also had real life concerts and I had the mix tape of all their songs (still listen to some of these, see below!). I loved this little bit of nostalgia, which YouTube recommended on a whim (these algorithms really do know us, don’t they?).

And as a bonus, here is one of my favourite songs from the franchise (I think it’s from the original movie), by Irene Cara. The words still resonate. (Funny how memories work. I still remember the exact dress she wore when she sang it in concert, it was a shimmering gold dress that I loved).

Looking ahead…

I am going to have (another!) busy week at work, but that’s okay because my weekend is going to be filled with much fun. I am watching water polo, playing padel with Zac and G, lunching with kids and G, watching rugby with G, etc etc. Zac has some fun activities lined up to, and Micole has something like only three lectures left before she’s (maybe) done with lectures forever and is on study leave.

Thanks for reading!

Want more? You can find past editions here.

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P.S.

My kids can attest to this 🤣