👟👠 Happy New Year, etc ! (#92)

Hi ! Welcome 2026, but I will probably be asleep way before midnight! This week I am thinking and writing about holidays, Christmas, reflections, intentions, beach houses, Grinch, failures, experiments and hope- Eve D.❣️

Is today really Wednesday? Who knows (not me)! This liminal time between Christmas and New Year is sublime, and I am totally lost in it. Bonus: it will extend all the way to Monday (obviously). And I still have another week off after that, although I’m already bored and will spend that week setting up for 2026. Lots to do.

Fair warning: I think this newsletter is going to be long. I am reflecting. Thinking about the holiday, 2025, 2026 and life in general. I do feel a brain dump coming on, and it will be somewhat self-indulgent. Feel free to bail whenever it gets too much or too long for you. Or break it up into chunks, since the next time I write here will probably be February. I’m taking a break to rethink, redesign and rework the newsletter.

Sand and sun….

The Beach Holiday was great. It flew past, which is always a good sign. There wasn’t much to do, which is exactly what I would have put on my wish list. I ended up feasting, walking, claiming top-of-dunes as my own (seriously, no one around me for miles), sleeping, reading and we even managed to fit in a lesson on how to roast coffee, which was fun and informative. Also, lots of long, unrushed chats with G, although I feel like we have so much more to discuss. And, lastly, (and I preempt this by saying that I hate, hate writers who write cryptic shit without going into detail but yes, I am going to do just that, right now): I also had one of the worst days of the year/recent past on this holiday, and I am still unpacking it. I mention it only because one day I will write about it, and I don’t want to be accused of pretending my holiday was Instagram-perfect when in reality it was also very much not so great in some brief parts. On the other hand, I remind myself that I did walk up to the gorgeous cliffs, by myself, on a deserted road, while dancing to Taylor Swift’s Opalite all the way. Like they do in IG reels (IYKYK). It was awesome.

G is easy to spend 10 days with, and we never felt like we were in each others space. But also, he gave me a lot of room (sometimes, too much room!). I spent a chunk of the holiday alone (walking, mostly, but also just sitting on the sea shore rocks) for better or for worse. I still feel like there is so much in my head that needs to be unpacked and resolved, but I can confirm that changing environments is a really good hack to supercharge that process. I think I need to do it more often.

Also, I need to say: every good holiday I go on, I end up wanting to buy a property in that place, or a similar place. This time it’s no different, although maybe not as specific. I have learnt that I want: a coastal property, it needs to have a spanning see view (not the if-you-lean-over balcony-at-an-angle-you-can-maybe-see-a-sliver-of-ocean), it needs to have a good balance of not being Joburg-by-the-sea but also not be a one-horse town. Good access to reliable airport. Good access to medical care. And good connectivity, while also lots of ways to disconnect. And yes, I did absolutely daydream myself into having a Grace and Frankie (IYKYK) kind of house, and also of owning a tiny coastal coffee shop attached to a tiny bookshop. A girl can dream. Laura has also just returned from a coastal holiday and is having similar dreams (although probably more tempered!).

Christmas time…

Christmas was also great, and the best part of it hasn’t ended yet! The actual festivities were relaxed and easy going, and I had no stress at all. The kids and I went out when it made sense, we ate (delicious!) pre-made food at times, and we were also hosted by others. We celebrate on 24th, which meant that on the 25th I literally did not get out of my pyjamas. Bliss. The reason I say that it’s not over yet is because due to shipping logistics, we are only opening our presents on the 31st (today?). So..the tree is still tempting us with many (many!) presents, all cutely wrapped, and we thus have much more fun to look forward to.

Kids and I have a 23-yr old tradition of taking Santa photos, and this year was no different, although we did change the location for the first time ever (!). And this year it wasn’t just Santa in the photo with us, it was also the Grinch. The photographer had a ball, because we were up to having some fun (unlike, ahem, other people). He made us (me) act out being shocked at the Grinch’s antics, and overall it was a super fun experience. We ended up buying 3 photos, and the kids love them all (me, not so much. I am still in the “I hate all photos of me” phase, but I am desperately trying to get out of it. Ways to do this: a) take more photos and b) post them publicly and c) get over myself)

Read and Watched… 

I read Heart the Lover and you have to read it too. It’s a life story, but also a love story. It was strongly recommended by countless women on Substack, and they were all correct. It’s a captivating read which you will not want to put down.

I also watched Oh.What.Fun with Michelle Pfeiffer whom I love. It’s about how women get taken for granted, especially around Christmas time. To be fair, and to repeat: her character’s experience of Christmas was nothing like mine (first see the movie, and then see my stress-free Christmas, above). I call that me winning at life. On the other hand, I look nothing like Michelle Pfeiffer (who is pushing 70yrs!), so she wins that round.

Millionaire in the making…

Zac got a 3D printer. This wasn’t a gift so much as an investment, since he is going into business! His goal is to set up an online shop and sell nifty things. We brainstormed a domain name (and bought it), and now I will be helping him design a website, setup an e-shop, figure out fulfilment and marketing, and cheering him on. This is the first thing he printed, which he gave to my sister as a Christmas gift (she loved it, and put in an order for more stuff...so, smart move!).

I think this is going to be a difficult process, but rewarding, and hopefully it will teach both of us new, useful skills. We’ve been knee deep learning all about Amazon and Takealot (our local Amazon-type shop) fulfilment, shipping, packaging and business bank accounts for 15yr olds... I’m excited for Zac and proud of how seriously and enthusiastically he is tacking this.

2025 recap…

I enjoyed 2025. Obviously it wasn’t perfect, but it was mostly great. G and I made a list of all the good things that happened to us (individually and as a couple), and let me tell you...that list was long, and profound. We did amazing things, we met awesome people, we ate great food, we watched some good sport, we added animals to our families and we watched our children flourish. We enjoyed each other, we enjoyed our friends, we went to cool places, and we had career wins (although probably not as many as we would like, 😀 ). Sure, some bad things happened, and some things that should have happened didn’t happen at all, but on balance I think we are winning this round.

It is easy for me to see how 2025 was a stepping stone to 2026. I think this is important, and it falls under the “we overestimate what we can do in one year, and underestimate what we can do in five”. Sure, it would have been better if I had achieved more in 2025, but allowing myself the freedom to use 2025 as a foundation will hopefully help me make 2026 stronger. And let’s not kid: I will probably be saying something similar in 12 months time. It’s difficult to measure progress from close up, but stepping back and reflecting makes it easier to see the forward trajectory.

I had a lot of failures in 2025, but I am not embarrassed by any of them. I have a new attitude or approach to this: treat failure as a feature, not a bug. I am sure you have heard that you need to aim higher than you think you can, because how will you ever discover your limits if you don’t? But I don’t even think it’s about limits. It’s about experiments. I am proud and encouraged that I am not scared to experiment and do things that will possibly/likely fail.

My biggest failure of 2025 was not walking the Camino, as I had planned. But, but, but: at the time of training for it, it was something I absolutely needed. I craved it with every cell of my body. Escape for 40 days, away from all obligations, and figure myself out. But guess what happened as I was training for it? I figured a lot of myself out without running away. I still want to walk the Camino, but now it’s because it feels like a fun thing to do, and not because I feel I need to do it.

Other failures: not finishing my book (I am fine with this), not doing much (anything) with my About Blooming Time idea (I’m fine with this too) and not getting my body into better shape (this is also fine, because I know I am on my way).

I have also learnt the value of “meaningless” work, although meaningless is a huge misnomer, because the work that others see as pithy or futile often ends up being the most rewarding. For me, writing and tutoring fall firmly in this category. As I said recently, I ended up writing well over 100k words for this newsletter alone (and I write others!). 100k is more than your average book! Did any of those words make me money or enhance my career? No. But did every single one of those words bring me peace and joy and reflection and understanding and growth and connection. Yes. And will I double down on this in 2026? You bet.

2026 aspirations…

I have a word of the year. It’s intentionality. I am going to be intentional with my heart, my work, my writing, my friendships, my adventures and my experiments. I’ll figure out my goals, chart an intentional and realistic way forward and evaluate my progress regularly. The hope is that if I find myself in a place I do not want to be (emotionally, physically) it won’t be a train smash because the journey would have been intentional and well thought out. I can quickly review and adjust. It’s ok if I make mistakes (obviously) but mistakes are better dealt with if I can understand how I made them (and thus learn from them). Adding the spice of intentionality helps, because it provides a level of consciousness and accountability that is much needed.

How will I put this into practice? Trite but valid examples:

• Be intentional with my social media consumption, who I follow, how I engage

• Set up a bedtime routine that is away from phones and towards books

• Ensure that my eating habits align with my goals for health, but also for fun.

• Put systems in place to achieve my goals, not just habits and high ambitions. Reality check those at all times.

One area of focus that will be top of mind for me this year is connection. I want to meet people, and I want to leverage people (for work and for fun). We could all do with a bit of more one-on-one. While on holiday, I skimmed through Brene Brown’s book Strong Ground, and she introduced me to the power of paradoxes. They shouldn’t be avoided, but embraced. I’m full of paradoxes. I crave connection but I also don’t really like people. I don’t know what the solution is for this, but I do know I am tackling it head on (with intentionality, and with systems. See?)

I told G I will not be as acquiescent in 2026 as I was in 2025. I will demand more from myself, and will speak up louder. I will advocate for my own needs and ambitions, and I will learn to take up more space. I will stamp a mark, give myself a voice, ignore the impostor syndrome and self-doubt, and surround myself with cheerleaders. I will also cheer for others.

As you reflect on your 2025, release it. If it was good, great. If not, it’s done and gone. 2026 brings new opportunities. Learn from your mistakes, learn from your successes. You know which ones to double down on!

Have a Happy and Safe new Year. I’ll see you in February (or thereabouts).

Thanks for reading!

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