👟👠 God laughs when you make plans .... (#102)

Hi ! Welcome back. This week I l was reminded how much of life is just simply out of our control. Today I am writing about floods, milestones, battlegrounds, books, rejections, meet-ups and enshittification - Eve D.❣️

I’m sending this newsletter every two weeks now, and this works well for me…I might even move it to once per month (first Saturday? last Saturday?). In theory I don’t like this idea at all, but I do need my Friday nights back because by the end of the week I am tiiired. And I don’t ever want to write this newsletter simply out of some obligation (even if only to myself). So I’m trying to find a balance. Thanks for playing along!

What I did this week (and last)…

😢 Cried. I was supposed to be leaving tomorrow to hike my 73 km Leopard Trail. G and I were so excited for this little adventure of ours. We had been planning it for weeks/months (gear list, clothing list, food list, etc) and were ready. Then the universe had other plans, and sent the worst storms to the region in decades. Literally, the trail received half of its annual forecast rainfall in just one day. River banks bursts, valleys flooded, roads washed away, schools closed, homes lost, local communities in peril. National disaster. And a cancelled trail. #cry (We are hoping to be able to reschedule for June, but no guarantees. This trail is booked up a year in advance). I’m devastated.

👩‍🎓 In brighter news, Micole had her Honours graduation, which made me very proud. She is now ready to tackle the real world. No rush though. We went out to dinner to celebrate, and due to various reasons (rain being one of them!) the only people at this small dinner were Micole, me, Zac, Zac’s dad and his mom. So literally our immediate family the way it was six or so years ago. It was …slightly surreal, if I have to be honest. So much has happened in the last six years, and yet it also felt as if absolutely nothing had. Weird. Food was amazing, much fun was had.

😻 Speaking of time flying…Benji celebrated one year with our family this past week! One year! I have never met a cat who has made himself more at home than this cat. He has spun our world to revolve around him, and a time before this reality does not seem to have ever existed. Also, he is somewhat ummm…rounder? …than when we first coaxed him out of the rain and into our house. And Lisa still rolls her eyes at him, but we all know she secretly loves him. He openly adores her, and follows her like a love sick puppy everywhere. It’s quite cute.

🛍️ I attended five markets, and was overwhelmed by exactly all of them. Some of these markets had 300+ stalls and thousands of people attending, and at that scale nothing seems exciting or scarce enough to want. My sister says we have lost our oomph to shop, and I think she may be right. I used to love shopping, now I can’t stand it. Which, please understand, is not the same as saying I do not like things. I love (pretty) things. I just don’t like walking around, fighting crowds, looking for (and not finding) my size, waiting in line, searching for parking. Urgh.

😡 As a good example of why I hate shopping: went to a store, found a pair of pants for Micole on sale, bought them. Got charged full price. Queried. Lots of back and forth. Turned out the item was “not supposed to be on sale” even though it was marked down twice. I showed the manager the law (which clearly states that the sale price has to be honoured, there in black and white). Store (national chain) refused. I walked out with the pants (card had been charged already, and they were good pants), livid. I am now at war with this shop. The money I am fighting for is ridiculously (embarrassingly?) low, like maybe R200? ($10) but I see myself taking them to court if I have to. On principle. On an unrelated note, a fortune cookie I opened yesterday had this to say:

💅 I had my nails done, and they are short and neutral. Which, if you like to keep up with these things, is exactly the trend.

What I’ve been reading…

📙 I finished reading The Art Thief. Not sure if I told you about it. It’s the real story of the world’s most successful art thief. He and his girlfriend stole about a $billion worth (!!!) of art from European museums over years, and kept it all in their bedroom. Not for money…they stole for the love of art (or did they?). It’s a riveting story of how they lived, how they stole and how they got caught, and what happened next. If it wasn’t real, you’d roll your eyes and say it was far-fetched. And it’s a modern story…most of this happened in the past decade or so. Page turner!

I started reading Theo of Golden, but decided to abandon after just five pages. I’ll come back to it (maybe), but I was in the mood for something much lighter and more frivolous.

I then decided on The Wedding People, and absolutely loved it! It’s one of those rare books that I imagine as a movie (spoiler alert: it will definitely be a movie one day, trust me) and am trying to decide who I would cast in each role. I was sorry to say goodbye to the characters when I finished the book, even though some of them were insufferable. This is a good book for midlife women who have had enough of other people’s shit … ie all of us.

I’m now reading The Correspondent, which is in the form of a collection of letters written or received by a retired legal clerk, Sybil. She writes her letters every morning, and refuses more conventional means of communication (like a cell phone). She writes to her siblings, her best friends, her children, the newspaper editors, professors at a nearby college, her neighbour and even a young boy. She is a bit cantankerous, which makes for some laugh-out-loud letters, but there is also a bit of grief, anxiety, hardships and love between the lines. There is something poignant about the power of the written word between people who might never meet in person (a little bit like you and me, probably!). And because these letters are written to various people at any time, the plot is not linear and each letter is a bit like a puzzle piece the reader must use to piece the whole story together.

1,000 rejections

This is now such a trend, even Vogue is writing about it. I guarantee someone on your social feeds is trying this too. Premise is simple: go out and try to get 1,000 rejections in a year. Be audacious, start pitching and asking for things you think are outside your reach. Consider each rejection a badge of honour, a notch in your belt, a step climbed towards better ground. At least two good things are going to happen:

• You will develop a thick skin. You’ll stop fearing rejections, because you are actually going to welcome them. How else are you going to reach your target of 1,000?

• You will not get rejected all the time. Some of those things that you think would probably be a “no” will turn out to be a yes! You’ll get to do things you thought were not meant for you. Your network will expand, your experience will grow, you’ll learn new things and you will have fun along the way.

What kind of things should you try to get rejected from? You tell me! What do you want to be doing but are not sure you could be doing or are good enough to be doing? Who do you want to meet? Who do you want to work with? What project do you want to tackle? You need to try and get rejected from about 3 things per day. So make sure that you figure out what those things are/could be, and keep a daily track.

I am definitely going to do this, and I’m roping Micole to do it with me (what better way to try enter the workforce than to try and get rejected 1,000 times!! Can you only imagine the opportunities she would find if she did this! I really hope she does. Rejection would be a game, not a shit show). Some of the things I am going to attack are: reach out to people I want to have coffee/chats with (see below), pitch myself (writing/speaking) to various bodies, seek out new clients audaciously, try some PR, etc etc. Honestly, a thousand ideas is a lot of ideas, but…one rejection at a time! 😄 

Come say “hello”…

Going hand in hand with the above, as part of the 1,000 rejections goal, I am also going to try and meet 150 new people before the end of the year. (It’s 150 because that’s how many work days are left this year, give or take). The rules here are simple: I need to reach out and have a proper conversation with a human whom I do not (yet) know. This can be in person or online but it has to be face to face, not Whatsapp or email. And it has to be a meaningful conversation, by the end of which both parties will want the other’s contact details in their cell phone.

Which reminds me! How is this for a great question to end a networking session…Instead of asking someone “how can I help you move forward?” ask them “when should I think of you?”. It’s actually a much easier question to answer, because it’s quite specific. “If someone in your network needs a copywriter specialising in financial jargon, please think of me” ; “If you meet someone who wants to redecorate their house on a budget, please think of me”; “If you meet someone whose team could benefit from understanding how to use AI efficiently, please think of me” etc etc. When should people think of you?

Life Hacks …

These are notes are made and screenshots I took of advice I found online. None of these are my original ideas, but I have not kept track of sources:

🌼 You can never get enough of what you don’t need (think phone scrolling)

🌼 To be happy, you need something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to. (The somoone to love can be your dog, not a lover!)

🌼 Be a “never-canceller” ie don’t ever need to cancel anything, simply don’t commit to things you don’t want to do in the first place.

🌼 Go where you are celebrated, not merely tolerated

🌼 You already know the answer

🌼 Don’t deal in subtext. Stop searching for “clues”. Clarify what people mean by asking them straight out (the passive aggressive people in your life will have an anxiety attack when you start doing this!)

🌼 Therapy isn’t about feeling better, it’s about getting better at feeling

🌼 Keep a running list in your notes of things that have made you happy (glimmers?)

🌼 Always do the right thing. Follow your values, when in doubt.

🌼 My favourite! Clear out your photos by searching for today’s date in your gallery, and going through all past photos over the years for that day. Clear out the useless ones, enjoy the ones you love!

FFS….

I really don’t expect you to read all this, but it sums up my frustration with online life absolutely perfectly:

What I watched:  

We watched Lincoln Lawyer, which I enjoyed. It’s exactly what you would imagine: a John-Grisham kind of book (actually written by Michael Connelly), made into a movie. A charismatic but slightly broken laweyer, gets a complex case and tries to figure it out. There are some really good actors in this cast: Matthew McConaughey, Merisa Tomei, , Bryan Cranston, William H Macy, and Laurene Mason. It’s the type of movie that has a few convenient plot ties-up, but I forgive that.

Marissa Tomei stars in Lincoln Lawyer and my movie-pal commented she had never been in a leading role. But I knew that wasn’t true…she was lead in Only You. So we decided to watch this movie too, and it was delightful, light, cute and relaxing. The type of movie plot that could never work in the world of cell phones, Google and social media (she is pursuing a man and the only thing she knows about him is his name ie she has no idea what he looks like, where he lives, what he does, and who his friends are. Can you imagine?? 😆 ). Also recommended if you want something romantic that also has Robert Downing Jr in it!

Next week:

Next week is going to be horrible because I will be expected to work when all I expected was to be walking a 73km trail. I am going to be pissed off and depressed. I have a good mind to say to-hell-with-it-all and spend five days working on some fun, frivolous project. Might. But probably won’t.

Thanks for reading!

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P.S.