Hi ! Hi Hi Hi! Guess what I’m listening to as I write this? 😄 This week I am thinking and writing about …the writing itself, the Showgirl, keeping up appearances, unread books and smart frogs - Eve D.❣️

Ummm….

I have now written 80 editions of this newsletter (that’s TWO novel lengths!) so it’s as good a time to review and revise as any. I’ve loved writing this newsletter. It keeps me accountable, it has initiated some wonderful new connections and built friendships, and it’s a permanent record of me (which is the whole point of Sneakers and Heels, after all). But I have a big inner conflict that I’ve been unable to shake: I want to write deeper pieces, aimed at a larger audience and this is not really compatible with also telling the reader what my boyfriend and I had for lunch, or what sport my kid played during the week. Also, I’ve never felt right promoting this newsletter, because it’s a quiet little thing I write for me, about me. It feels a bit pompous to market…but also… I do want a wider readership base. So… 

I am going to continue to write this newsletter (of course!), but I’ll adapt it, and probably not in the direction you expect: in future it will now be far more me, me, me focussed (if you can believe that is possible). There will be a lot more introspection, a lot of shared honesty, more photos, more personal stories. I am aware this will be yawn-inducing to (probably) most readers, but nevertheless it will be something I will enjoy/appreciate writing and re-reading in future years. I totally understand if this is not your cup of tea. (I am amazed so many of you who are not my longtime friends and family read this!) Please know that you can absolutely unsubscribe and my feelings will not be hurt in the slightest.

But - elsewhere - I am going to write more, deeper. I’ve been busy over the last two weeks setting up new homes for my writing, and I am excited. At any time, I have a dozen thoughts that need to be fleshed out, but have no place to go. This causes me overwhelm and paralysis. Now I have created a system to start putting thoughts to paper, and I already feel calmer, more focussed, and…happier. Stay tuned.

Week in review…

🖥️ Life is busy with work, and end-of-year madness. I know we are only (already!) in October, but I have 10 weeks left before I leave on holiday, and A LOT that still needs to be done. I’m slowly falling back in love with my main project (rehealth.co.za) , and I am excited to see where I take it in the future. If you’re in South Africa, please check it out. I’m proud of it.

🏓 Played paddle with G and company, and…I sucked. Like, really sucked. I will need to get better, but I had much fun and hope to make this more regular. (Btw, how great is it that I can suck and have fun at the same time?) Also pretty unexpected to find a sport I can play with Zac (and maybe Micole), because let’s face it…we are far from a sporty family, and never have been. Micole took a video of us playing, posted it on the family group and this is the dialogue (I’m the one in green):

🏥 Unfortunately, probably as a result of the paddle (what else???) G really hurt his back so now the poor man is in tremendous pain and has a long recovery ahead. Will need to be more gentle! 

🧆 Went out to dinner with the kids. We were observing my mom’s passing, which was four years ago to the day. It feels surreal that it’s been 4 years. Sometime it feels like a lifetime, sometimes it feels like a year ago. Still one of the most shocking and insane things that has happened to my family. (For the record, I did take photos ofthe dinner but kids didn’t like them so I can’t post. Here is one of Micole and Benji instead! I remind you that until recently, this cat was a stray cat in my garden for two years.)

🔫 Zac participated in a Nerf Gun Showdown, which is exactly what it sound like. He was the team leader, and had stupendous fun. I had an equally good time while I sat under the shade of a tree, drinking excellent coffee, chatting to Laura for hours. I was so lost in my world I did not take a single photo. Oops.

Otherwise, did the usual: read, watched, gymmed, waited with eager anticipation for Taylor Swift’s release (see below) and caught up with friends. We also (finally!) had our first proper rains: tremendous downpours with thunderstorms to match. Such bliss.

Food for thought:

Off my mind…

🎤 Taylor Swift 

I’d been looking forward to her new album release, which happened on Friday. I was expecting something vibe-y, upbeat, empowering. I was in the mood for powerful, energy-inducing pieces, and for some reason convinced myself that this is exactly what I would get. First thing Friday I downloaded the album, and considered it my fuel for an hour-long car trip I had to take. Within minutes, as I skipped track to next track, I was devastated. I found the album to be bland, and not catchy, and not what I needed at all. Bleh. 

But then, a couple of hours ago, I went to listen to it again, this time with lyrics. And now I know what it is: a love letter. She is writing about love, and the joy that finally finding it has brought her. It’s a tribute to her man, and it’s beautiful, and aspirational. The lyrics land, and some tunes are vibe-y after all.  And yes, she also throws shade, because would be a TS album if she didn’t? 🤣 No, I don’t have a new favourite song (but who knows?). I do have even more appreciation for this brilliant artist.

📺️ Keeping up Appearances

Keeping Up Appearances was one show that made my mother, Micole and me howl with laughter, although we might have been laughing for different reasons. If you’re not familiar, the shows centers around Hyacinth, who considers herself superior to most humanity, and is hell bent on climbing the social ladder and being accepted by the “upper class”. Unfortunately, she comes from a lower class background, and her family are a nightmare to her goals. She’s the type of person who would tell a furniture delivery truck to come at a specific time and park in a specific way, so as many neighbours as possible see her where her new couch was bought. She’d tell people her last name is pronounced “Bouquet” even though it was actually spelled B-u-c-k-e-t. 🤣 .

Hyacinth was always concerned with what other people thought, and the reason that the show made me laugh so much is because I saw so much of my mother in Hyacinth. My mother would never pull that delivery truck trick, but bet your bottom dollar she would tell all her guests where the couch came from 🤣 . She truly thought everyone was always watching and judging (stones in glass houses!). She lived to superficially impress. She implored my sister and me to act accordingly, but we never obliged, ha ha. The joke was on her…everyone recognised this quirk, and they happily humoured her. Patricia and I just rolled our eyes. My mom was harmless, of course, and in fact was a real lady and absolutely impeccable in her dress and behaviour. She recognised herself in Hyacinth, I think, which is why she loved the show so much. She was laughing at herself, which is also in character. I’m reminded of all this because the actress who played Hyacinth, Dame Patricia Routledge, died today, aged 96. And, as I said, this past week was four years since my mom passed 😥. They are probably giggling together in heaven.

(You can watch most full episodes on YouTube)

📕 Reading 

I’m reading a book (Case Study, by Graeme Burnet) that came hugely recommended by “people in the know”, but I just can’t get into it. I’ve promised myself that if I don’t vibe with a book that I will DNF it (Did Not Finish), but I can’t let this book go just in case it turns out to be brilliant. Result is that I have been stuck on this book for about a month, and that is such a waste! I saw a graph that suggested that if I read 25 books a year, I probably only have 750 books to read in my lifetime. That’s not that much, and I don’t even think I will hit 25 books this year 😢.

💭 Reminiscing

October in New England is the most spectacular time of the year, as the late summer switches into fall and prepares for winter. It was my favourite month in Boston by far…not surprising if you consider that I lived in a brownstone on a street exactly like this one. #goodtimes

Seen in the wild…

🐸 Ha ha ha! I think we’ve all tried a variation of this trick.

🐶 I approve of this message. There is so much ugly in the world, adding a little bit of kind can only help.

🤯 SkyNews managed to name the husband of the Archbishop of Cantebury, without naming the actual Archbishop. This is why we can’t have nice things.

Life Hacks to Betterment: 

❣️ Think two nice thoughts about everyone you meet/see every day next week. Even if they are strangers. You will see the negativity dissipate! This is easy to do for people you like, but the whole point is to try it on people who cut you off in traffic, hold up the checkout line or talk loudly on their phone in coffee shops.

❣️ Schedule these five tasks every month: 1. Get your life together day. A day to clear physical, emotional and mental clutter. Think laundry, bills, meal prep. 2. Unplug Day. 24hrs, no technology. 3. Be a Tourist day. Do something new in your own town. visit a new restaurant, museum, area. Take photos. 4. Reconnection Day. Call family, meet friends, answer messages. 5. Mini-adventure day. Do something small that excites you. A new intro class for a hobby, a different route home.

❣️ Write down all the risks you took in the last 12 months. If you end up with a blank or near-blank page: spice things up. You are selling yourself short. Go find difficult stuff to do, then do it.

I’ve been watching…

We watched This is Spinal Tap this week, which is a mockumentary about a very unpopular rock band touring the US. It’s possibly one of the funniest movies ever made, if you are into that genre.

Next week we are watching F1, which I am massively excited about. I believe it was the top Box Office earner this year, it stars Brad Pitt and I now have a slight fascination with Formula 1 races. Perfect combo.

Looking ahead…

Today we are watching rugby over at friends (last week’s game was one for the books! ❤️ ), I am making a pavlova to take with (once again, an assembly job: I bought the meringue base, strawberries, blueberries and cream). I do expect/hope this dessert to be a hit. Since G hurt his back last week and is in slow recovery, we are going to have an easy rest of weekend. I think there is Singapore Grand Prix on as well. As for the week, I have a ton of work that needs to get done (this will remain true until December) and will try to fit gym, coffee dates and a lot of writing in between. Hope your week is fantastic!

Thanks for reading!

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P.S.