👟👠 Breaks, odds, ends (#99)

Hi ! Welcome back. Happy Easter/Passover! Today I am writing about taking a break, World Cup, unknown words, public affairs, very good movies, sociopaths and parquet floors.  - Eve D.❣️

What I did this week:

🏖️ I took the week off, and …also this coming week. It wasn’t planned. I went to a meeting Monday morning, and three of the people at the meeting were leaving the office for two weeks as soon as the meeting ended. If you live in South Africa, this shouldn’t surprise you. If you don’t, let me give you a quick catch-up: In the 6 weeks between March 21 and May 1, we have three public holidays, and Easter. There is also Passover and school holidays, plus a culture where if a public holiday falls on a Tuesday or Thursday, it’s pretty much a guaranteed long weekend. If it falls on a Wednesday, it’s often two long weekends, on either side. Point is, with some clever playing around of the work calendar, you can often just take 3 or 4  days off and get a two week holiday, or even longer. This year, the public holidays are not too gracious for us (one fell on a Saturday) but tradition is tradition: April is pretty much a sleeper month in SA. 

📔 So, when I woke up on Tuesday, I thought…screw it. I am also going to take the time off, but instead of basking on some beach or resort, I am going to catch up on all the stuff I want to get done, including side projects, new ventures with kids etc etc. So, not really time off at all except that if you email me you’ll get an OOO telling you to wait till April 13. I’ll give you a run through of what I am doing in these two weeks in next week’s newsletter, but suffice to say that I am feeling such joy to be working on things I love. Life is exactly as it should be. (Checks to see if she has won the Lotto yet, so this lifestyle can continue…).

⚽️ I need to warn you: the Fifa World Cup is coming up, and I am going to be obsessed. I am not a soccer fan at all, barely know the rules or the players, certainly know nothing about the politics of it all, but when the World Cup rolls around, everything else in my life disappears. My kids and I have watched every one of the 64 games of the past 2 games. True, we do other things while watching (I usually knit scarves), but yes, it’s a lot. This year, because of changed rules and more teams participating, there will be even more games, and this time round I dont think I have it in me to watch. I have already told my children I am not watching, and honestly I do hope I stick to this, but we shall see. The reason I mention the WC is because the last teams qualified this week, and sadly Poland did not make it (I’m devastated for them) and neither did Italy (for the 3rd World Cup in a row). There is a lot of controversy because Iran is expected to play in the US (Fifa refuses to move the games) and I think that is mad, but…#men. If Iran withdraws (they should!), Italy might get their spot. 

🎤 Speaking of speaking, and of the World Cup:  Remember I wanted to do the next Petcha Kutcha talk in Johannesburg? Unfortunately the next event was scheduled for June 11, which not only is the date of opening match of the World Cup, but it’s also a South Africa vs Mexico game! That wins over Petcha Kucha any day. So: I got hold of the organiser and explained that this is probably not the best idea, and he agreed to move it to July :-) (To be clear, this is the organiser of the Petcha Kucha, not of the World Cup 🤣 ). So…I think I am going to throw my name in the hat for the talk. Need to figure out a topic, and hope to be selected! It’s been about a decade since I’ve been on stage.

Otherwise, it was a really quiet, relaxed weekend and week, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Odds and Ends…

I’m loving this Threads account. @wordmae posts a word hint every day, with a definition, and you have to try and figure out what the word is. I am embarrassingly bad at this game. (I used to date a man who claimed he knew the meaning of every word in the dictionary, and true! I never managed to catch him out, and I tried often.) So I am taking this game seriously, and am also increasing/improving my vocabulary at the same time. Give it a shot yourself: 

Answers: irksome, adroit, munifecent

🌹 This woman read her boyfriend’s ChatGPT discussions about their relationship, and then had to break up with him. I know I am talking about it, but I don’t really think there is anything to talk about? It is exactly the equivalent of overhearing your boyfriend’s session with his therapist. I wouldn’t ever want to, because in a safe space you are allowed to say the unthinkable, and explore it. That’s kind of the point. I want that right, and I give it to my partner unconditionally. Men (people!) have the right to voice fears and doubts. Usually we work through these naturally anyway. (To sweeten my argument, this couple had only been dating for 3.5 months at the time of these ChatGPT chats!).  But, as always with these things, it’s the comments on the article that are golden….suffice to say, you get all sorts of people in this world. Side note: this is a different discussion, but it’s not a good idea to ask ChatGPT for relationship advice. It is trained heavily on Reddit threads, and Reddit threats have been proven to skew strongly in favour of advising breaking up with your partner, rather than “communicating” with them towards a resolution.  Read it here.

🌹 Speaking of relationships, have you seen the Kristin Cabot podcast with Oprah? Kristin is the woman in the infamous Coldplay concert kiss-cam saga. Obviously, she got a lot of flack for the clip, and very clearly became "the face of “the other woman who stole my husband”. It’s no surprise that she had to live through some pretty horrid moments post-concert, and so it's interesting to now hear her version of the story, and the background info. For starters, that concert was her and Andy’s first date. Her estranged husband (she was already in a separation, and the marriage was only 2 yrs old) was also at the concert, and has been her biggest supporter through all of this. She is no longer on speaking terms with Andy, alluding to some dishonesty and misrepresentation on his part (fill in your own suspicions). And the group that came at her hardest? Women. Also worth mentioning: Kristin’s life was turned upside down in an instant. It can happen to any one of us, at any time - whether we are dating men going through a separation, or crossing a busy street with buses. Who knows what will happen? We can't really prepare. Side note: The podcast has 4 million views (a lot!), but the the Kiscam video has 300 billion views. Horrific. There are “only” 8 billion people in the world, and as Oprah says, out of all the things going on in the world, this is the one we chose to unite us. Says a lot about us.
Side note 2: I called the Oprah interview within days of the Kiscam! here is what I wrote about the whole incident:

🌹 Last thing on relationships, and things not going well: I watched a wonderful movie this week (more on that below), and in it there was a golden line: find someone you can be unhappy with. Obviously the goal is not to be unhappy forever, or for a long time, but …welcome to life. Shit will hit the fan. At some point in your relationship, you will be unhappy with your life, even if for a brief moment in time, and this might make your partner unhappy. Or they might have their own reasons to be unhappy, which compound your feelings. That’s ok. As long as you are not particularly unhappy with each other, a strong relationship should survive personal bouts of unhappiness. Point is: learn to tell the difference between personal unhappiness and relationship unhappiness, and don’t throw away a good relationships for the wrong reasons.

🌹 Do you need to relax? Yes, you do. Here’s a hack: dampen a washcloth and put a couple drops of eucalyptus on it. Fold it into a glass container, and freeze for about 30 minutes. Take out, and apply to head, face, neck. You will feel instant sense of calm, due to a combination of the cold and the smell. h/t Heather 

🌹 I’ve added Sociopath to my Kindle, and am ready to be enthralled. It’s a nonfiction book written by a  real life sociopath who knew she was different from kindergarten age, but only understood why in college. The book follows her journey as she tries to come to terms with her diagnosis, and figures out how to have a meaningful, loving life.

🌹 My favourite YouTube couple who are renovating a house in Canada have just spent the last two episodes laying herringbone parquet floors (gorgeous!) in their very big lounge, and it inspired me to fix my own parquet floors, DIY. My floors are old, and with the recent rain some (many!) planks have started to swell and lift. This is common, and can easily be fixed by professionals. But I went down a YouTube rabbit hole of how I can fix this myself as a fun weekend project. I am happy to report that I very quickly realised there would be nothing fun about it at all. Sounds like a nightmare job, to be honest. #LeaveToProfessionals. Side note: if yo are not watching/following this couple, you really should be!

Why not?

I need to know why this cannot be my house, or alternatively: when am I going to have a house like this? Whenever I needed to / wanted to picture my dream home, it has always been a version of this magic. I need it.

What I watched:  

We watched Is this thing on? with Will Arnet (Alex) and Laura Dern, directed by Bradley Cooper who also acts in the movie. It’s about a couple who decide to separate, and how they deal with the aftermath of that separation. Alex finds solace in an unexpected place: in front of a mike, doing standup. Night after night, he takes his audience through the ups and downs of his life, and learns about himself, his wife, their marriage. It’s a wonderful, light, poignant movie, and I am so glad it crossed my path. It’s also superbly casted. This has a two thumbs up from me. (Side note: The “I was unhappy in our marriage, I wasn’t unhappy with my marriage” line I referenced above makes it into the trailer, below. Feel free to watch it…it has no spoilers.)

Next week:

Zac went to see Project Hail Mary and loved it so much he persuaded me to go and see it too, in a movie theatre, as well. Will miracles never cease? So that’s G’s and my plan for Saturday, but plans may change. Who knows?

Thanks for reading!

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