Hi !  Welcome back. Are we all stocking up on chocolate bunnies and hot cross buns? This week I am thinking (and writing) about the little things that matter, game victories, brain boosters, coffee trucks, and a path to social connection. - Eve D.❣️

Week in review…

💌 Funny thing about writing these “weeks in reviews” is that they give me the impression that, most of the time, my life is pretty monotonous and uneventful. That’s because I look for “big things” to write about, like Kruger hikes or holidays. And those don’t happen often! But I now realise that these big moments are not the ones that actually make for a good life. It’s the little moments, often quickly forgotten, that when added up, amount to a lot of joy and a meaningful life.

🫶 In that vein, I continued to do the “little” things: with the kids I played our daily games (see below!!!), did school stuff, did extramural stuff, dined out etc. Also, still tutoring a friend’s son in maths. Still hiking / walking. Still watching Camino YouTube videos (and still excited to do it). Still enjoying my time with G (very much!). Still hanging out with friends (3 amazing in-person coffee dates this week). Still healthy. You see? None of this is particularly exciting, but still makes me happy. I am aware, and I am grateful.

🛑 Life is also defined by what we don’t do. And one thing that I have been increasingly not doing is spending time on social media. I removed all the social apps off my phone, and now my only distraction on my phone is YouTube Premium. This has translated into me spending less and less time reading about the world and its chaos, and less time following others’ nonsense. Two things from this: a) I have confirmed that getting hyped up about politics is overrated because it’s outside my area of control and not worth losing sleep over and b) I have confirmed social media is designed to trap you. When I do log into Twitter or Instagram, I can stay trapped for an hour, easily. Not cool.

☕️ I took the kids out for an outside lunch yesterday, and fell in love with this cute coffee truck, and now I must have one. What am I going to do with a coffee truck, you ask? I don’t know. But I still want one.

Free therapy

Wordle victories …

If you’ve been reading this newsletter for a while, you know that my kids and I play the NYT games every evening after dinner. That includes Wordle, Connections, Mini Crossword and Strands. We each play individually on our devices, but help each other out if necessary. We’ve been doing it for about 3 years.

In all that time, I have been playing the same one word as my first Wordle guess. (If you don’t know, in Worlde you have to guess a random 5 letter word correctly, in six tries or less). My theory was that eventually that word would have to be the actual solution which would mean that I would solve that day’s game in one try. My kids were less than convinced.

ANYWAY!!!! GUESS WHAT????

After playing “SPARE” for 1,181 days (literally), it finally, finally was the actual word! I felt as if I had won the Lotto. I shrieked. Loudly!! Like I said earlier, it’s these little things in life that just make it worth living 🤣 . (Also, there is a lesson there in “just keeping on. Step by step”)

New Project

OK, I am ready to start telling you what I am working on that has me so excited. (That above quote is a good hint). Let me give you some background first.

I am basically at the point in my life where I want to fully intersect work life with the stuff that I am absolutely passionate about. And right now for me that revolves mostly around social connection, empowerment, writing, and some form of digital strategy. In 2023 I partnered with a friend of mine to build a global newsletter aimed at mid-age women. That whole project fell apart, and I started this newsletter instead. And during the past 12-month long journey, as I connect with more and more of you, there is a strong theme that comes through loud and clear, over and over again: women 45yrs+ are craving validation and connection. We want to be heard, and acknowledged. We are eager to rediscover who we are outside of our responsibility to care for all the other people we care for. Too many of us feel shoved aside by society. And we don’t like it. This needs to be fixed.

In a nutshell: I am building a space for women from all over the world to connect, both online and offline. It’s a space that will help us help ourselves. You can expect meetups, workshops, courses, interviews, written content, networking opportunities and more. It will help you make new friends, find new passions, re-find your purpose and cement your relevance.

It’s an ambitious project, but I’m excited. I’ll keep you posted!

Odds and ends:

✅ If you are like me and struggle to find a simple, clutter free writing app, this one just launched and it’s free. (Mac only)

✅ Oscars are adding a new category for Stunt work. It’s kind of strange that it’s taken that long. Tom Cruise will probably win the first one?

✅ I hate it when my worst and irrational fears become real. For example, I have a fear that ski lift chairs will drop from the cables, then it happens. And more recently: my fear of taking my family for a spin in helicopter over the NYC skyline and then crashing now has merit. A family of five (three kids) plus pilot lost their lives this way this past week. Very sad. 😥 

✅ This YouTube channel is addictive. Rocky Kanaka rescues dogs, both emotionally and physically. He is literally a dog whisperer. He sits with the scared, traumatised pups and helps them with recovery. He has a gentle, soothing nature about him and watching his long-form videos is a form of therapy. The channel has over 5 million subscribers, so it’s not just me who thinks this.

✅ Have you seen the Boston Dynamic robots? They are both amazing and scary. (If there is ever an army of them we’re all dead). But then some genius had the great idea of covering their cold and scary metal skeleton with cute character costumes and now we are all going to just fall in love with them, aren’t we? Seriously, I totally see this evolving into “pets” etc. And yes, “people” too, probably. We’re all doomed.

✅ Fun fact: every time you shuffle a deck of cards, you get a combination of cards that has never existed before.

❗️ Good tip: If you live in the US, you can get Apple TV+ for $2/m for the next 3 months. This might apply to other regions too. I think it’s the best streaming service out there.

Focus in a bottle? 

A friend’s husband has mild ADHD, and has been taking a focus medication (Concerta) for 3 months. In that time, my friend says his focus at work has increased so much that their income has doubled. Another friend has (unhappily) put her mild ADHD child on a minimum dose of Concerta, and reports that she now has a “different child”. The kid is more focussed, enjoys school work, is generally happier, less anxious and more social. And I have move anecdotes like this, all extremely positive.

This raises two questions:

1) Should I experiment with Concerta or something similar? Apparently it’s not addictive, and has no adverse side effects. And if I could buy myself just an extra hour or two per day of high-focus work, I would make tremendous headway in all my projects. My problem with work isn’t lack of time, it’s lack of focus/energy. So maybe Concerta could help? Don’t I owe it to myself to try?

2) Conversely…if our everyday behaviour is so easily adapted with a small pill, then who are we, really? I know this is a bit philosophical and out there, but seriously….if a pill can change my brain’s chemical balance in such a way that I effectively end up living a different (more productive, possibly happier) life, then where do we draw the line? I mean…it’s one thing to take mind-altering meds if a person actually has a specific condition (ADHD, schizophrenia, depression) but even then all that means is that this person has a chemical imbalance which cause this less-than ideal behaviour. But we associate that person with that behaviour….so are we actually just the sum of the chemicals in our system?

This reminds me of a story I read recently about female patients in the UK who were given a medication for restless leg syndrome which had an unfortunate side effect: it made them hyper-sexual. These regular, moms-next-door, who were perfectly normal, functioning members of society suddenly started participating in deviant behaviour like visiting sex clubs, selling their used underwear online etc. One woman recalls “leaving her house wearing a see-through top and jacket and flashing her chest at any man she could find”. I repeat…none of these women did any of those things before taking the meds.

To put it in perspective, imagine you popped a pill to help you with a medical condition, and suddenly you stated having affairs and propositioning strangers in the street. Would this still be “you”? Your “soul”, or whatever it is that you think makes you “you” would be powerless.

I don’t have answers, only questions. And I am not happy to have to accept that me, Eve, is actually just the result of some random cocktail of chemicals flowing through my brain, and that the Eve that I and my family/friends know could easily disappear with just one errant doctor’s prescription. (And yet, once again….should I nevertheless willingly take the Concerta to improve my work effectiveness?).

I’m confused, to be honest.

I’ve been watching…

We watched The Way, which stars Martin Sheen and Emilio Estavez, and is about the Camino. To be honest, I was somewhat disappointed by the movie. I have seen amateur YouTube vlogs capture the essence and transformative power of the Camino better than this movie did. Worst of all, the movie made the Camino look easy. And that’s just insulting to all the people who have walked it!

You can view the full movie on YouTube, for free:

No idea what we are watching next week. I hope it’s something funny.

I’ve also finished watching Shirinking, and am now watching Severence which looks good and so different. I have no idea where it’s going (or where it’s come from 🤣 ) but I look forward to finding out.

Thanks for reading!

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P.S.